Fighting For What's Missing

40.

After dropping off Robbie, we went...home. We went home. Daddy wasn't kidding about not having a lot of furniture, and most of them don't match with each other, but it is our home, and I love it. There's a large air mattress in the living room. It's the first thing we see when we step through the front door. Daddy must've forgotten because he cringed when he saw it.

"Sorry," he says flatly. "I...um, forgot."

I knew it. "It's okay."

He frowns. "I completely forgot. There's...nothing much here. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I mean I like it. We can decorate it however we want!" I jump and squeal at the creative thoughts rushing through my head. "It can be a jungle theme! Or sky theme since the walls are a light color, I mean, they're really light."

He chuckles weakly, cracking his knuckles. "Maybe. But for now, let's put your clothes away. I, um, I got black dressers-I should've called and-"

"It's fine," I rush out. "Come on!"

Unpacking didn't take long. I only had one bag of clothes, the other was for things like my roller stakes and a few toys Tisha let me keep. After we were done, we went out to eat at a diner near by then to a toy store. I didn't get anything, but daddy did. I'm not exactly sure what it is though. And it wasn't until we were home that I finally asked what was it.

"It's a chess board, and a good one too-" he knocks on the wooden board "-I hate the cardboard ones."

"Daddy...my Candy land game," I remind him. "It's cardboard."

He chuckles. "I mean for chess."

"Oh." Dragging my bare feet back and forth across the floor, I watch daddy open and set up the board game. I smile when I see the four horses. "How do you play?"

"I'm gonna show you." When daddy's done, he sits across from me.

"Who taught you?"

He freezes, his grayish-blue eyes glass over. "My, um...." he says in a suddenly strained voice. "Lena...she signed up for an after school chess club. I stayed with her every day, watching her and her friends play. And I dunno," he shrugs. "I guess I learned how to play along the way. The first time I played against someone, I won. Actually, I didn't lose for a while...not until I started playing with kids in college, but I was in middle school so it was still kinda impressive."

I smile at him, and he returns it. "I want to learn how to play."

"I was hoping so. Come here." I climb out of my seat and move to daddy's side. He picks me up and places me on his lap. "This one right here-" he picks up a piece "-this is your king. He can only move one space at a time..."

********

Daddy and I must've played chess for hours. I still get confused on which piece is which and how to set up the broad, but playing-wise, I got it. But when I started to get tired, daddy put away the game and put new blankets on the air mattress. "I've never slept on an air mattress before," I say as daddy picks me up and places me on the mattress.

"There's a first...never mind. Where's Night Fury?"

"I left him upstairs."

When daddy returned with Night Fury, he played Monster Inc on his laptop, then we lied down.

"Daddy?" I whisper.

"Yeah, baby girl?" He says sleepily.

"Did you enjoy your birthday?"

He hugs me tightly and kisses the top of my head. "It was the best." I tear his arms off him while he gives me a puzzled look, and sit up and kiss his head. He smiles. "I love you, kid. Thank you and goodnight."

"I love you too."

William

Drifting out of sleep, I begin to toss and turn. There's a slight pain in my chest, and I don't think it's something medical. I reach out...and feel nothing. Agnes. With panic pulsing through me, I jolt upright in bed. The sun is rising above the horizon, allowing light to slip through the curtain and allowing me to see that I'm alone. "Agnes?!" In one quick movement, I yank the blankets off me and jump out of bed. "Agnes?!" I yell as I run through the house.

Then it hit me.

Fuck, I forgot to give her pills.

I'm about to dart up the steps when I notice the air is different, it's fresher. I step back and glance at the back door. It's open an inch or two. "Agnes!"

I yank the door open and...and...drop to my knees. "Agnes?" I cry.

Agnes is sleeping on the patio floor. She's curled in the extra blankets Tisha gave us, using Night Fury as a pillow. She looks so peaceful, considering she just slept outside on a February night/morning. There's a note next to her.

I wanted to count the stars

I can't help but chuckle through my tears. Agnes is the only person I know that would try to count the stars, and I know deep down she will continue to try, no matter how old she is. I wipe my tears and pick her up.

How could I have been so careless, so irresponsible? I hate myself for allowing my special, little girl to sleep outside. My pouring tears return, and I'm struggling to pull myself together as I place Agnes on the air mattress. I brush her hair out of her face and gasp at the temperature of her skin. She's cold. I carefully unwrap the cold blankets from her and threw a new, warm blanket on her.

I wait for the color to return to her cheek to move to the other side of the room and make a phone call.

"Hello?" Robbie answers grumpily.

"I..." I crack my knuckles. "I forgot to give Agnes her pills." Because of my crying, my voice comes out shaky and unlike me. "She, um, she fell asleep outside. I should take her-"

"Nowhere. She's fine. It's like falling asleep with the window open. Just keep her...if you want, I can come over."

"I'll keep the door open."