The Things We Do :: Dream SMP x Reader

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟷

 You had just gotten to the Embassy, and planned to have a productive, fairly quiet day. Well, you were planning to have a productive, fairly quiet day. Until Tommy ran through the entrance screaming and bolted to the enderchest inside. You glanced out, noticing Eret and Punz chasing after Tubbo.

"I'm getting the beacon into my chest!" Tommy shrieked, fumbling for his bag and sticking a hand inside it.

"I'm a lawyer, I'm a lawyer, get out of my way, I'm a lawyer," Tubbo repeated, almost like a mantra. "I am OMNIPRESENT. I AM A LAWYER." You looked from Tubbo to Tommy with multiple questions.

"Tommy, what is...?"

Tubbo soon darted into the entrance of the embassy after, standing slightly behind Tommy.

Eret and Punz attempted to follow after them, but you came into the doorway, putting one hand on the doorframe.

"Care to explain?" you asked, cocking an eyebrow. "Also, anyone going to tell me how Tubbo became a lawyer?"

"Tommy, give me my beacon back," Punz said, gaze switching to the two teens inside.

"You can- you can only speak through my lawyer," Tommy replied frantically. "Anything you say can and will be used against you in cOURT-"

Punz shoved past you and entered the Embassy. Rude. He pointed his sword at Tommy. Also rude. You stepped back inside with a slight sigh.

"Tommy what did you do?"

"I didn't do shit," the blonde screeched, backing away from Punz's sword. "Tub- Big Law, tell them I didn't do shit."

"Tommy didn't do shit," Tubbo echoed, his voice noticeably deeper. "I'm a lawyer, you see, so I am telling the truth."

"That doesn't- ok, sure Tubbo," you said in an exasperated tone.

"Tommy, give me my fucking beacon back!" Punz yelled, moving towards Tommy. You wrapped a hand around your axe on instinct.

"Punz, take these, I'm a lawyer, I'm a lawyer," Tubbo interjected quickly, taking a beacon from his bag and handing it to the older blonde.

"Oookay, I'll take those then," Punz decided. He took the beacon, and went to head out with Eret.

"Just let it be known you owe me four beacons, you cock-eyed bastard, I'm on to you," Tubbo shouted after him. "In four beacons' time you're going down."

"Um." You coughed slightly. "What was that?"

"I'm a lawyer," Tubbo stated.

"Yes, I know but - how?"

"Don't question it," Tommy told you under his breath. "Also, he's Big Law now. Don't question that either."

"We need to get him to court," Big Law - Tubbo acting as Big Law? - announced.

"Why?" Tommy asked. "He stole my- well actually, I stole his beacon."

"You stole a beacon?" you exclaimed. "From Eret, of all people? Do you know how risky that was?"

"This is a matter of national security," Big Law declared.

After several recitations of "Be careful, I'm a lawyer" and quite a bit of screaming, courtesy of Tommy, Big Law had by some means gotten Eret in one of the courthouse cells.

"Now, Big T, Y/n, we need to do some... unlawful activity - but I'm a lawyer, so it's okay."

Your expression morphed from confused to slightly concerned. "I'm sorry, what? What are these non-lawful activities you're gonna do?"