Apricity✓|Editing

Chapter FIFTY- ONE

Alexandrea's P.O.V

Eli's gaze met mine, wide and bewildered. "Alex, what was that?" He asked. I tightened my hold on my sleeve, looking away from his gaze. I gulped as my heart pounded fast in my chest.

"It was nothing" I muttered. I fixed my gaze on the curtain on the side of the room.

"That can't be nothing. Did you hurt yourself? What's that mark?" He asked, his tone filled with annoyance. I closed my eyes, trying to stop the tears.

"Eli, please, it's nothing." I voiced out, shakily. I felt him touch my arm and I opened my eyes, meeting his gaze.

"Don't lie to me. I just want to know what happened. I feel like I know nothing about you. Let me see, please" he said, his eyebrows furrowed in worry. Just show him your arm, Alex. It won't hurt. Just your arm, I preached to myself.

I stared at him, reading his expression. It's not like I didn't want to show him but they're hideous and I'm scared. I'm scared that he won't see me the same way anymore. I don't want him to look at me and be reminded of these ugly marks. But if he wants to, I'll show him only my arm.  I nodded and he gave me a small smile, letting go of my arm.

I looked at him before, pulling up the sleeve of my right arm, slowly, revealing the marks etched on my skin from the tortures of Axel. I watched as Eli's eyes widened, his gaze fixed on my arm. For some reason, his expression killed my zeal to leave my sleeve open for him. "See, I told you it was nothing" I said, looking away.

The marks were tiny compared to the ones everywhere else. I pulled down the sleeve, looking at Eli. He looked at me, furrowing his eyebrows "Did you do this to yourself?" He asked. My mind wandered to the time I showed Nick the marks so I repeated the same words I told Nick to Eli.

"No questions" I breathed, our gazes locked on each other's. Eli parted his lips, about to argue. "Please" I added, making him stop. He slowly closed his lips. He raised his hand tucking my hair behind my ear.

"I missed you" he said, almost in a whisper. I missed you too, I wanted to say but I couldn't get Steph's word out of my mind and the fact that he didn't trust me.

He slowly started to lean in, his gaze on my lips. Neither did I stop him nor did I make any move. I watched as his lips inched closer to mine, my mind wandering to a certain someone again. I closed my eyes, trying to get his face out my mind. I felt Eli's lips capture mine. This is wrong. I can't think of Nick. I'm with Eli.

I broke the kiss, opening my eyes. I met Eli's confused gaze. "I'm sorry. I can't" I said with furrowed eyebrows. I can't be unfair to Eli. I need to think. There was something missing in the kiss. There was no excitement like I used to feel. Or maybe it was the thought of Stephanie that caused that. Eli's face fell and his shoulders sag, hurt flashing across his face.

"You haven't forgiven me? It was a mistake and it won't happen again, I promise" he said, holding my hands in his. I looked at my hands in his and recalled the day Nick held my hand like that and shoved it in the pocket of his hoodie. I shook my head, the thought disappearing.

"No...well, yes. I've not forgiven you fully. But I need.." I sighed, trailing off. I never thought I would say this. He waited patiently, still holding my hand "I need space. I need to figure some things out, Eli." I completed. His face turned plain, rid of any expression. He nodded slowly.

"Okay. I understand" he said. I looked at him and stretched my lips into a small smile to tell him that it's okay. He passed a small smile back, letting go of my hands.

"Thanks" I smiled. I need this space to think and I don't want my decisions to affect anyone. My emotions tend to get overwhelming and they start to confuse me. I need to avoid that.