I'm sorry this update is so short but the heartbreak in these few words equals that of a long chapter. It also took me longer to write this because I kept avoiding my computer knowing how much pain I was about to write for our precious Wei Ying. I hope you like it and thanks so much for reading. The next update will be a doozy!!
Wei Ying POV:
Endless screaming. It fills my ears. It cripples all my other senses until the howls of torment are the only thing my body knows. They become deafening until I can no longer hear my own breaths that are trying desperately to keep me alive. My heart beats faintly in my chest. Is it, though? Still beating? I'm not so sure anymore. Why is it struggling so hard to keep me tethered to this hateful world? Why won't it just stop? There's no one left for it to beat for. Not even my beautiful Lan Zhan. Flashes of the pain and fear on his face from what I almost did to him fill my mind. They are the last thing I remembered before the madness that is now eating away at my consciousness consumed me.
Whatever I am becoming needs to be destroyed. I hurt my beloved, my precious Lan Zhan. If I had my sword, Suibian, I would gladly fall upon it and end the monster that is me. I need to die. So why won't the darkness take this life that I am offering it? Why won't it just erase me from the world?
Reminders of my past slither like eels inside my mind.
Lotus Cove in flames. Madame Yu and Uncle Jiang lying dead amongst the ashes of my clansmen and friends.
Sweet, innocent Wen Ning who died because I wasn't strong enough to save him. In my anger, I turned him into a fierce corpse, my knife that I manipulated to murder so many in my name, including Jin Zixuan.
Yanli's delicate chest pierced with the blade of a sword meant for me, her loving eyes pleading with me to save her before they closed for the last time.
The face of the unknown cultivator whose life I took with my bare hand.
I am drowning in the blood of those who have died around me, because of me.
A sharp pain burrows into my abdomen and I scream uncontrollably. I can feel Wen Qing's fingers wrapping around my golden core as she extracts it from my body. Exploding white pain erupts from each of the fibers that need to be severed. The pain is never-ending. I watch with unfocused eyes as her delicate hands cradle the now homeless glowing orb before placing it inside my sleeping brother, its light growing brighter as it accepts its new host. My body grows weaker with every slowing heartbeat. This was the first time I longed for death. There would be many more
Without warning, I feel myself falling. Falling into the darkness that I have longed for but it does not end my pain. Mine is an eternal pain that constantly bites at my skin and silently gnaws at my soul. I hear the alluring voices that have whispered to me for years. The voices that promise to take that pain away and give me peace. That promise to give me power so that I can be with my Lan Zhan forever. I have always ignored them, chased them away, fought against them. But now........now I have no more resistance left in me. I am so tired.
It will give me what I want. But, only if I give it what it wants. My soul.
A soul that is too damaged.
Too broken for anyone to love.
For Lan Zhan to love.
I see my betrayal of his trust that night reflected in his golden eyes. Those beautiful eyes that used to look at me with unconditional love. I close my eyes when I hear his voice echoing in my head. Behind my darkened lids, I see my beloved with another, a woman. Someone who can give him the family he deserves, a family he can love forever. I see him smile that smile that was meant only for me but is now bestowed upon his wife. When he turns to me, the smile collapses, leaving his handsome face completely devoid of emotion.
"Lan Zhan." I call out desperately.
"Wei Ying." he answers back roughly.
"I........I love you. I'm sorry." My heart shivers as I reach out for him one last time.
"Are you? Do you think a simple sorry makes up for everything I suffered through for you? Everything I sacrificed? Watching you give up and fall to your death leaving me behind, alone? Waiting for you for 13 years with no answer? No sign that you would return to me? No glimmer of hope? The 33 whips that nearly took my life? All the humiliation of being by your side, the Yiling Patriarch, who was hated by everyone and cursed for using dark arts? I think you owe me more than an 'I'm sorry'..........Wei...........Wu.....xian."
My tears are like droplets of ice that scurry down my cheeks. Hearing those words come from my husband's lips is the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life. If I didn't want to die before, I do now. I want it all to end.
"Please, make it stop. No more." I utter hopelessly.
'We can take it all away, master. All your pain. All your suffering. You just need to let us in. Accept us. Become one with us and it will all be over."
The voices are like a siren's call to my devastated soul.
A soul that longs to forget.
A soul that has given up on love........on living.
A soul that is ready to be reborn.
'No more pain. No more suffering. No more Wei Ying."
Yes. Please. No more.
And with that final absolution, Lan Zhan's soulmate welcomed his death with open arms.
"He was both everything I could ever want...
And nothing I could ever have..."
― Ranata Suzuki
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The Wedding Curse - Book 2 (Complete) Extras coming Sept 2021
Fanfiction*** PLEASE READ STOLEN MEMORIES ARE NEVER FORGOTTEN FIRST****** They say that people change after they get married. Wei Ying and Lan Zhan have been through so much in their young lives that change was inevitable for them. They are not the same men...
