Forevermore {h.s}

9.

A/N: hello lovely people! it's finally Friday and that brings a new chapter! this is one of my favourites so far and I hope you will like it! also, don't be scared about the trigger warning, I just think it may trigger some people. that's all! big love! 

-kris

TW: mentions of suicide and panic attacks

-

"You want one?" Harry turns his head to me, offering me a cigarette. Elton John is still playing on the player; we are sitting on the porch.

I'm quietly reading a book and he's listening to music and smoking. I don't know how we managed to survive without any argument, it's quite impressive.

"I don't smoke," I refuse, and Harry puts a new cigarette between his lips. He smiles like he already knew I'm not a smoker.

"What a shame," he sharply says in a sarcastic tone; sticking out his bottom lip and I roll my eyes. Harry suddenly stands up, puts the old burned cigarette on the table, and walks away. The new cigarette is still sitting between his lips. What the hell is he doing?

"Where are you going?" I ask but he doesn't stop. I close the book, take the cigarette and run after him. 

"Where the hell are you going!" I yell and then I see that he's heading to the cliff that's higher by the lake.

Harry walks up the cliff where the sun is setting and the village is to be slowly shrouded in darkness. I grab my dress and run up the hill, the hot wind blowing into my eyes. Harry stops in front of the cliff, his hands in his pockets, looking at the sun and the colour-changing sky.

The lake meets the sun with such grace as if the two of them are so enchanted by this eternal dance that they barely notice the mountains.

I love this place. The lake is reflective blues and greens, and the willing canvas of mountain and sky brings its artistic watercolour effect to the daytime. 

"What...what are you doing here?" I exhale, holding my stomach. I have no idea why I ran after him but I'm already here and I won't change it.

"Would you save me if I fell into that lake?" He asks out of nowhere and I look at him to see if he's still sane.

"That's a stupid question" I laugh at the joke but his face is without emotion. That's not a joke?

"It's an easy question, just answer it." Harry waves his hands and approaches the cliff.

"You wouldn't do that, you don't want to fall and die," I ask, watching him in the slow setting sun. This will not end well.

"Are you sure?" He mutters and his eyes darken. Oh shit, he's not kidding. I hope he's not suicidal...he doesn't look like he wants to just fall down and die but at the same time, this doesn't sit right with me.

I think this is some trust game to test me, if he thinks he's funny it's really dumb.

"Yes I am," I say boldly, and Harry laughs, his chest rising. It's a frightening laugh, not sarcastic, not happy, not careless. Frightening.

"Alright, we'll see," he peacefully hums and starts taking off his shirt.

"You won't do that," I mumble under my breath as he throws the shirt into the grass. I stare at the tattoo of a butterfly in the middle of his stomach.

I tear my eyes away and watch him continue, he also puts off his shoes but keeps his jeans on.

"Watch then" he whispers calmly, smirking, leaning over the cliff. He raised his hand and waves at me. I immediately run to him and when I wanted to pull him back, he lets his body fall off the cliff.