Psychology Facts

▼ Peter Pan Symdrome ▼

》Peter Pan syndrome describes one's inability to believe that they are of an older age or to engage in behavior usually associated with adulthood

》Since Peter Pan syndrome isn't a clinical diagnosis, experts haven't determined any official symptoms. Here's some consensus on how it often plays out in relationships, at work, and in personal attitudes toward responsibility and accountability.

》In relationships they may:

let you plan activities and make big decisions

neglect household chores and child care responsibilities

prefer to "live for today" and show little interest in making long-term plans

show signs of emotional unavailability, such as not wanting to label or define relationships

spend money unwisely and have other trouble with personal finances

consistently avoid addressing relationship issues in productive ways

》Work-related signs:

have a pattern of job loss due to lack of effort, tardiness, or skipping work

make little real effort to find a job

leave jobs frequently when they feel bored, challenged, or stressed

only take part-time work and have no interest in pursuing promotion opportunities

move from field to field without spending time developing skills in any particular area

》Attitude, mood, and behavioral signs:

a pattern of unreliability and flaking out

emotional outbursts when facing stressful situations

a tendency to make excuses and blame others when things go wrong

little or no interest in personal growth

expectations of being taken care of
fear of negative evaluation

a pattern of substance use, often with a goal of escaping difficult feelings or responsibilities

a desire to keep their options open instead of making concrete plans

》People with Peter Pan syndrome may seem a little helpless. You might have a general impression they can't "get it together"

》It's true that some people living with this syndrome also show some narcissistic tendencies. But many people have some narcissistic traits without meeting full criteria for narcissistic personality disorder.

》Peter Pan syndrome is largely associated with males (and has been from the start). It's worth noting, however, that most of Kiley's research was done in the 1970s and '80s, when gender roles were a bit more fixed than they are today.

》While Kiley focused his research on males, he did identify a counterpart in females known as Wendy syndrome, in reference to Peter Pan's female companion.

》Much like in the story, females in this role often enable the Peter Pan in their lives, often without realizing it. They might do this by making decisions for them, tidying up their messes, and offering one-sided emotional support.

》There's no single cause for the behaviors associated with Peter Pan syndrome. It's likely the result of the following complex factors.

》Those with Peter Pan syndrome often have overly protective or very permissive parents. Those are two pretty different parenting styles, but here's the breakdown:

》Overly permissive parents often don't set many (or any) boundaries on your behavior. As a result, you grow up believing it's OK to do whatever you want.

》Protective parents, on the other hand, can make you feel as if the adult world is frightening and full of difficulties.