Hearts Of Gold h.s

Chapter 5

That is El's outfit!! Enjoy :)

E

It's Tuesday night and I am shitting my pants. I have been thinking about tomorrow ever since Harry asked me at the diner. I am nervous, but also kinda.. excited, I guess?

When we got home from the diner, Harry had gone his own way and not followed us home which was great because I had to interrogate Niall. But, when I went to do that he refused to tell me much. Just basic answers like "he's been talking about you a lot" and "I told him to go for it". But he would not tell me much detail as to what he said about me. I hated not knowing, but there was no point in trying to pry answers out of him anymore.

Harry and I also exchanged phone numbers before he left, so he has been texting me here and there. I wouldn't say they were full conversations, but more simple things like what I enjoyed doing and my favorite kind of food.

He won't tell me exactly what we are going to do, but more just told me to trust him. I don't trust him, but I also don't think he will take me to a dark alley and murder me.

When I say that I don't trust him, it isn't because it is him necessarily. It is kinda similar to why I would not be the one to start a conversation with him. I simply just can't. I have experienced too much hurt to assume people have good intentions. Although he may not murder me, people are capable of causing a lot of emotional pain without laying a finger on you. But, I am trying nonetheless.

All I can do right now is try. Nothing can get easier or better if I don't at least try.

I am excited as well though! I promise, I am not completely dreading this.

Niall helped me pick out my outfit for tomorrow. Nothing crazy, just a plain white turtleneck with a tank top and some black jeans. I have always loved to put outfits together. It is something I find a lot of joy doing. I know what I like to wear and what I don't like to wear, but I for sure enjoy putting different articles of clothing together to see what I can come up with. Usually nothing too crazy, but I think it looks pretty good.

***

When I woke up this morning and realized it was Wednesday, I really had to evaluate my life choice of agreeing to this. I mean what the fuck were we supposed to talk about all night. I just pray that he does most of the talking.

Harry texted me when I first woke up telling me he would come pick me up around 5 and it was only around noon now. I had classes until 1 today and then I could go home and get ready for tonight. Four hours seems like a long time to get ready, but I'm nervous and want to have plenty of time.

Classes go on like they do every other time. Nothing too exciting when it comes to school. I do really love my one creative drawing class though. The professor gives minimal instruction and leaves the art up to us. For instance, the topic this week is 'Sin'. That is all she tells us though and we have to interpret and create something based on that word. It is quite enjoyable and really allows me to express myself without much holding me back.

After class, I pack up all of my stuff and start to make my way back home. I can't start spiraling over this date because if I do I'll try to back out of it and it is just entirely too late to do that. Also thinking about how nervous he looked asking.. I can't do that to him.

Harry seems like someone everyone can get along with. I don't know too much about him or how he acts in public, but from what I have seen he just seems like someone everyone gets along with. Niall has talked pretty highly about him. When I expressed the nerves I was feeling last night he told how much Harry had bugged him about me. How many questions he was asking and that he wouldn't shut up about me.