Hearts Of Gold h.s

Chapter 49

There is a POV switch, keep an eye out for that!

TW!! Mentions of death and losing a parent 

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We got the call three days ago. 

We've been in Maryland for two weeks now, a lot longer than we were expecting. After a week and a half though, we got the call. My father coded for the first time, causing a complete downward spiral in his health. 

He was put on life support two days ago, his brain is no longer showing any kind of activity. The doctors and nurses working with him all encouraged us to take time to think about the next steps, we were given pamphlet after pamphlet, we talked to everyone who had something to say.

But, we made this decision a while ago. Jackson and I both.

Im sat on the couch in my Dad's hospital room, as far from his bed as I could possibly get without actually leaving the room. Niall and Harry are in the waiting room, even though I told them all that they don't need to waste their day sitting in the lobby of a hospital. I know Niall's parents came by for a little, but I'm not sure if they stayed long at all. Jackson is on the single armchair right next to my Dad's bed. He has his full attention on the tube coming out of my Dad's mouth, the only thing keeping him alive right now.

The past week and a half has gone by slower than any other ten days in my life. It was a waiting game.

I continued to let Harry have his own room and he's for sure appreciating it. I've noticed that with each day passing, we're able to have normal conversations when we're awake if he's able to have his morning and night to himself.

If he has his own space for a few hours of the day, he's a lot more content. Well, he seems more content.

I do miss him though. I miss his touch so fucking much. It's odd having him be right in front of me, but just not being in a place where small amounts of intimacy would be comfortable. Neither of us have really made a move. I'm not even talking about actual physical intimacy per say. Even just holding eachothers hands or laying together on the couch rather than on opposite ends of it. And, I do understand why. If I didn't understand why we were keeping things relatively platonic for the time being, I would have made the first move. But, for now, even if it kinda sucks, that's how it is.

This isn't what my mind should be thinking about while I'm sitting in the room that is supposed to be my worst nightmare come to life.

Well, being this close to him is my worst nightmare, but that's not what I mean. It's the reason that we're here that is meant to be my worst nightmare.

A soft knock on the door has Jackson and I turning our attention towards the door and in walks a female doctor, one Jackson and I talked to two days ago when we were last here.

"Hi, hi, how is everyone doing?" her voice is soft, sadness lingers in her tone.

"We're okay." Jackson speaks for both of us. I don't have anything to add other than that we're okay, so I just nod.

"Okay, good." she says, starting to press a few buttons on the monitor next to my Dad. I move from the small couch to join Jackson on the other side of the room, sitting on the arm of the chair and simply resting my hand on his forearm, trying to be comforting and not overbearing.

A few more people walk into the room, not enough for it to be overwhelming, but the room does get a bit louder with the added voices.

"We're going to get started, okay?" she says, looking at Jackson and then to me. "I'll walk to you through every single thing that's happening and please remember, he's not in pain."