Hearts Of Gold h.s

Chapter 11*

Over 10k words. I just couldn't stop once I started.. Enjoy!!

TW: Brief mentions of suicide

2 weeks later

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The past  two weeks have been fine. Harry and I spent most nights together and kept steady contact throughout the day. It works for us. He has truly been amazing and is just such a wonderful person. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I know that I'm lucky.

I worked a morning shift today and went to class until 1. I also have a session with Piper and Harry is planning something for tonight. No clue what it is.. All I got was a text this morning saying "I'll pick you up at 7. Dress fancy." which was odd. We haven't really been on a date since our first one.. Most of the time we just lay in bed and order food to either one of our apartments. But like I said, it works. We both enjoy eachothers company without all of the materialistic things. But, tonight is date night and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited.

I trust Harry. I know he wouldn't set something up that he thought would make me super uncomfortable. I can trust him and that goes for going out as well. I trust his judgment, I trust his thought process, I trust him.

As I walk into Piper's office, I can feel the excitement. I actually haven't seen Piper in nearly 2 weeks. Yes, I'm supposed to be going weekly, but I just had some other priorities and kept pushing back my appointments. I'm here now though, so I think it's okay. I didn't completely ghost her.. Just kinda put coming here on hold for a second.

I walk through the bland ass hallway to her office and the door is propped open which means I am good to just walk in. I watch her face completely light up when she sees me. I know Piper enjoys being around me. She has complimented the impact of my company.

"El.. haven't seen you in a while. How are you?" she asks as I sit down on the small yellow armchair. "I actually have so much to tell you" I say excitedly. Of course I'm excited to tell her about Harry. I'll also tell her about my dad and Jackson, but I'm more excited about Harry. She nods her head and motions for me to talk.

"So.. Harry. Well we may or may not be dating now." I blurt out and her jaw drops. Like her mouth is hanging open. I guess she wasn't expecting that to happen.

It takes her a second to finally respond but when she does she asks "And how does that make you feel?"

A very therapist kind of response.

"Good. Makes me feel happy which is so weird because not much makes me actually happy." I nod as I speak almost to make sure she believes what I'm saying. I have come in here and spilled a ton of bullshit about how I feel, but for once I'm not lying. It's more than feeling content at this point. I'm happy with him. "Overwhelmed?" she asks. All I can do is offer a shrug. "Not really. At first, yes. But I'm a lot more comfortable with him now. Sometimes I get in my head about being good enough, but I associate happiness with him more than any other emotion."

This is the longest I have ever told the truth to her. It feels good to actually be able to do that.

"Hold onto the good things. He sounds like a good thing. Don't psych yourself out over little things. Remember the communication skills we have talked about. Set your boundaries." She offers the advice in response.

"Wait until you hear this bullshit though.." I say with a small eye roll. Jackson and I still haven't talked. I did end up texting him asking if he went home or was still in New York, but he never answered me. I can only assume he went home though.

As the days went on, I was able to really think about that whole situation. Him showing up was so weird. I don't know why he spent the money to come all the way to the city for that kind of conversation. Seems pointless and like a waste of money, but it wasn't mine that he was spending. I am still so angry with him, but I'm also so confused and kinda concerned. I have never seen Jackson so mad before. He has never ever blown up on me before. I mean I've seen him frustrated and we have fought like most siblings do, but it has just never been like that. He has never stooped so low and thrown my mom's death in my face. I just have no clue where it even came from. I have never had him spew so much hatred towards me.