Hearts Of Gold h.s

Chapter 29

E

My brother called me this morning.

The past few months have been rather barren when it comes to our relationship. There has been very little communication between the two of us and honestly, it kind of sucks. We've never been the kind of siblings that were attached at the hip or told each other every secret we had, but he's my brother.

Blood relation means nothing to me. Just because someone is related by blood, doesn't mean you have to love them. In my case, I love the people who share none of the same DNA as me a lot more than those who do.

But, I do love my brother. Not because I feel like I have to, but because he was never cruel to me growing up. He treated me like a person, not like a liability.

The bar is on the floor when it comes to my standards obviously.

He called asking a shit ton of questions about England and what I was doing here. I obviously didn't mention this trip to him because it didn't concern him in the slightest, but I guess he saw me posting on social media and wanted to know why I was across the world.

It was nice to talk to him, but also kind of awkward. Him showing up in New York a couple of weeks ago was weird and is still weird. I mean who just takes a train to a different city just to have a conversation?

It makes me wonder though. Should I have listened to him? Gave him a place to stay? I reacted quickly and out of anger without letting him really say much of anything. We were both mad and things blew up.

I know his original plan was to stay in New York for at least a week, but my reaction cut that short and he was gone by the next morning. Where he went, I have no idea, but I know it wasn't New York.

I apologized to my brother this morning.

I usually say sorry too much, unless you genuinely make me mad or upset. Then it will take a lot for me to give you a real apology. 

But, he deserved it. In my opinion he deserved the apology. I deserved one too, but that doesn't mean how I acted was right. 

He said things that hurt me, but I also hurt him. Rather than being a good older sister and helping him when he was obviously upset and distraught, I kicked him to the curb.

He accepted the apology and told me that he went about everything in such a horrible way. Things got bad, he didn't know what to do and he came to me. I shouldn't have patronized him for that.

Jackson had asked to actually meet Harry and that took me by surprise. I mean Harry obviously saw him in person when he showed up to my apartment, but there wasn't any kind of formal introduction.

He also asked how the holiday was and how I was last week. I know he was implying about my mom's death anniversary, but probably was trying to be sensitive to my feelings which I appreciate.

It was nice to talk to him this morning.

Harry and I go back to New York today.

We celebrated New Years with a few of his friends which was a ton of fun. I know he was really happy to see a ton of people that he hadn't seen in a few years. But, as the days got closer to us leaving, I could tell he was getting pretty upset over it. He doesn't get to come over here often and Facetime just isn't the same as being right here with them.

I'm even pretty upset to be leaving. As excited as I am to go home and see Niall and Bailey, I'm also very sad to be leaving this space we have created here.

I have come to love both Anne and Gemma as if they are a part of my own family. I was so scared to meet them, but now I'm for sure not happy to be leaving them.