Hearts Of Gold h.s

Chapter 43

Let me know what you think about the Niall pov <3 

N

I hate being the middleman.

But, I have been for the past week and a half.

I've been there to comfort El every night and coax her back to sleep after she wakes up in the middle of the night, crying from a dream that she had. I've been there while she goes through the anger and verbally rips herself and the situation to shreds. I was there when she realized how utterly stupid she's being. I've tried and tried to get her to just text him or call him but she won't. She doesn't ask me to necessarily report back to her about how he's doing, but I know she's curious.

It's been a week and a half of the apartment feeling like a fucking graveyard. It's dreery in here at all hours of the day.

This is kind of how it was a few months before Harry came into the picture. El would go through her days, living in a fog, and then every few days she would just crack and break. She would cry for hours, she would shake and panic. It was an ongoing thing for a few months before she met Harry. He gave us a light, a source of pure happiness. He gave her a true type of love and he gave me one of my favorite friendships. I feel awkward saying it, but I do love him. I care deeply about him and his well-being. I won't go on and on about this to El for obvious reasons, but I won't lie and say that I haven't been checking in on him periodically throughout the days.

El hasn't been to work since everything happened. I guess I can give her the benefit of the doubt there. Working with your ex-boyfriend would for sure sting a bit.

Referring to him as her ex-boyfriend... ouch. That one even hurts me.

I am the middleman, so, like I said, obviously I've been keeping an eye on Harry. He comes to the office for a few hours a day, but mostly keeps to himself unless he has to talk to someone. That was enough to raise questions from a few people at the office. One thing I loved about Harry was that he was constantly involved with every single person here. I was an intern when I met him, meaning I could have been treated like I meant nothing. I could have been sent to just make copies and get lattes, but I wasn't. I was involved, I was treated like a person that meant something here. He made me love this job. It sucks so bad to see him falling apart like this. The dark circles under his eyes progressively have gotten worse over the week and every single day, without fail, I watch him walk in and stare at the desk where El would sit. He only stares for a second or two and let's his shoulders slump from defeat.

I know he wishes that she'd walk in and just be sitting there, waiting to greet him.

But, she's not there and she's being so fucking stubborn about the whole situation. She does get upset and she for sure hasn't been doing well, but she's also just so fucking stubborn. I know she realizes how big of a mistake this actually was and I know she regrets it, but she won't do anything.

I will say though, Harry looks a lot worse than she does. He looks like he hasn't slept in days and hasn't fed himself a real meal in a while.

It's sad.

I did try to talk to him in person, but he brushed me off. There was no hostility coming from him, he just seems too sad to even function. The same thing happens when I text him. I ask him if he's doing okay and I get an 'I'm fine' in response.

He did end up asking me if she was okay. It took him a few days, but he ended up pulling me into his office just to make sure she was fine.

I wouldn't say she's necessarily okay, but I told him that she was doing the very best she could. I know fibbing isn't great, but he also for sure could not handle any of her emotional grief on top of his own.And I know he would have done just that. If I told him that she wakes up crying almost every night or that I can hear her cry herself to sleep, he would worry more about her than himself. She broke up with him, but that doesn't mean he fell out of love with her. I like to think of this period of time more as them just taking a little break. It makes it seem a bit better to me and prevents me from getting too upset over it. Call me dramatic, I don't care. I'm sad about it too. Anyway, it wasn't necessary to put that grief on him as if he wasn't very obviously struggling himself.