Hearts Of Gold h.s

Chapter 8

TW// Mentions of abuse, and panic attacks

E

One week later

I woke up bright and early on this fine Wednesday morning surrounded by a warm embrace. Ever since I slept at Harry's, it has happened a few more times. The past week was filled with so much joy. I had no idea I was capable of feeling like this. I had a couple of bad times as the week went on, but having Harry there to hold me was something I didn't think I would want as much as I do. I crave his touch more and more.

I look over to see the side of his face squished into my shoulder which I know is not comfortable. I try to shuffle up slightly so he can lay on my boob rather than my boney ass shoulder. In response I get a small whine, but once his head falls onto my chest he seems more content.

He is so beautiful.

Small breaths escape through his parted lips and his nose scrunches slightly when his hair tickles the bridge of his nose. I took my hand and moved it out of his face and dragged my hand to the nape of his neck where some sparse curls laid. He let out a hum of satisfaction and then a small groan.

"Good morning. What time is it even?" He asked with a thick rasp in his voice.

"Just past 5. You can go back to sleep for a little. I can wake you back up." I offered

I felt him dig his face deeper into my chest and shake his head. "Did you sleep okay?" I hardly heard him say due to his voice being severely muffled against me.

"Yeah. Not bad. It's easier to sleep next to you." I mumbled pressing my cheek against the top of his head and softly raking my nails up and down his back.

He lifted his head slightly and gave me a small smile with his eyes still half closed. He softly connected his lips with mine and then pulled away just to drop his head back down.

"Okay. 30 more minutes and then I'll get up." He mumbled. I chuckled softly and agreed.

While he slept for a little longer, I decided to just take some time for myself. Checked my email, texted Niall that I would be back later today and just scroll mindlessly through social media.

I feel my phone vibrate a few times and a mass amount of texts pop up from an unsaved number. This has been happening for the past four days now.

My sperm donor really has a way with words.

It started out quite innocent. He was pretending to give a shit asking questions like "How's school?" and "Are you still living with Niall?". He's good at pretending to care in order to get exactly what he wants. We truly haven't spoken to each other in well over a year, so I didn't take seeing that it was him texting me repeatedly well.

Harry questioned it, my mood flipping pretty fast, but telling him would require an explanation. Trusting him isn't even the issue anymore. I'm just scared. I think if the opportunity presented itself, I could just spill it all, but I can't just bring it up. My father took a lot from me. He made me into this shell of a human. I was belittled and neglected of love from him. He made me feel like I was nothing.

I had shrugged Harry off just blaming it on work and school and the stress that comes with those. He seemed wary, but dropped it nonetheless.

Watching the texts come in made my stomach knot.

After my mom died, my dad got even worse. I didn't stay around for all that long after her death, but Jackson kept me up to date for about a year after I left. Nothing about it was good.

He turned to drugs and gambling. He blew a lot of money really fast and it's been 4 straight years of that.

My mom knew she was dying. Stage four breast cancer that she decided to keep to herself until it was too late. I was so angry at her when I first found out what was happening. I was so mad that she would leave me like that. But, as time went on, I began to understand why she did what she did a little more. She simply didn't want to put us all through more than what we needed to go through.