The Scarlet Apprentice

Watching the stars

When the night fell and the moon took over the sky, the cabin returned to a calmness once again. Neither of the girls had fallen asleep but, of course, they didn't know that the other was wide awake.

There were a lot of things about the other that the two didn't know, and a lot of their wishes and problems would've been solved if they were just more open.

But being open was never something that came naturally to either of them, not after all that they'd been through. They'd both experienced the pain of losing a loved one multiple times, they both knew the frustration of having nobody left, and they both knew the haunting in the loneliness they'd feel due to being at their lowest.

Maybe that's why their connection was so immediate and strong, even if it was unspoken. It seemed like their souls had been through so much, and now they'd finally been brought together. Like they'd finally been paired up with each other once again, allowing them to feel at peace.

Even if they didn't know it yet, they felt safe around each other, and that feeling of safety had hundreds of layers of reasoning and meaning embedded within.

Owls hoots echoed from the trees and faintly made their way over to the cabin, allowing the gentle noise to be heard by both of the girls.

After tossing and turning on the couch for most of the night, y/n scoffed and sat up, rubbing her eyes. Considering her next move, she looked all around the cabin, hoping to find something, anything that would interest her, even for a few moments.

It didn't take long for her gaze to fall upon the window behind the dining table. The thin white curtains dimmed the light ever so slightly, but the sight of the moon's light pouring into the cabin was very clearly visible and intriguing to y/n.

Accompanying a yawn, she rose from the couch, taking the large red blanket with her. She wrapped the blanket around herself and then began walking over to the window.

In front of the window was a small ledge. It was small enough to not take up too much space, but big enough for somebody to sit on. So, tucking the blanket under her legs, y/n sat down on the ledge.

Tucking her knees up to her chin and wrapping the blanket around her legs, she looked out through the glass and up at the stars. Each and every one had so much life, and so much joy radiated from what seemed like a tiny spec in the sky.

She began to imagine all the things people around the world felt while looking at the stars, and compared them to her own.

Her eyes stayed staring at the lights with a longing. A longing for something she'd always tried to run away from.

Something about the situation she was in made her not want to run away from it, but towards it. It was something about wanda that seemed to pull her in so much to the point where she'd forgotten all the times she'd been hurt in the past.

All the pain and memories she held onto for so many years seemed to disappear to make room for the thought of wanda. She wasn't worried, she wasn't cautious, she was blinded by a feeling.

Perhaps Hayward was right when he said she was sympathising with the enemy. Even though sword had drilled the narrative that wanda was a monster into her head for so long, she didn't consider her an enemy anymore.

In truth, y/n would've been completely open and honest with wanda about everything. She would've immediately warmed to her and grown a strong connection in seconds, but she didn't want to.

However, the reason as to why she didn't want to wasn't because she didn't like wanda, it was because she knew deep down that if she didn't hold herself back, she would fall helplessly in love with her.

The gut wrenching feeling of the possibility that wanda wouldn't love her back circled round her head too much, cutting down her burning want to be with her.

She dropped her head onto her knees and sighed into the space between, thinking about how she was going to deal with it. 'It' being the pain she might feel if she was to ever open up to wanda, only to be rejected.

But what she didn't realise was, wanda did feel the same. She felt a comfort, a safety, and a sense of home when she saw - or even though about - y/n.

It seemed strange to her, at first. She couldn't comprehend how she'd come to be so attached to someone she hadn't known for that long. It must've been that because their trauma was so similar, it seemed like they'd always known each other.

The unfortunate thing was, both of the girls felt the fear of rejection from the other, so their suspicions of feelings were never confessed immediately.

To put it simply, neither of them had known love long enough to be able to identify the actual signs of it. Sure, they were flirty or comforting with each other, but they didn't know if that was just the others personality or if there was more reasoning to the action.

Even if they did figure out their emotions, they wouldn't know where to start when it came to expressing them in a way that truly described it.

The pained thought of rejection hovered over y/n like a thunder cloud, pushing her down even more, and she sighed once again. Without wanda, she felt an emptiness. But with wanda, that emptiness was fulfilled. The only problem was, in her heart, she didn't believe wanda felt the same.

If only she knew that through one thin, wooden wall, wanda was doing the exact same thing. Looking at the stars with a longing - a longing that could've been solved right then and there if there wasn't a wall between the two.