WE WILL NEVER HAPPEN • TAEGYU

chapter 23

Beomgyu walked into the house with slow steps. He scanned the house for the younger boy. He realised that he left the boy alone and hadn't returned for the whole day, only if he knew how much turmoil he had caused. Two boys were searching for him everywhere and still are and two other boys were driving all along from Busan to Seoul just to save his ass.

Being ignorant, the boy got a glimpse of Taehyun sleeping on the couch. He stood there not wanting to wake the boy up. next minute, his stomach growled, bringing him back to the reality that he hasn't eaten anything since what he had in the cafe with Ryunjin in the morning. So, he walked up to the kitchen.

He saw some beer bottles and churros on the dining table. He wondered who got all of these and 'churros with beer' he gaped but pushed that thought aside and went to make instant ramen. He can be depressed and sad for all he wants but can't starve and die.

He prepared the noodles and sat at the dining table eating mindlessly. He kept staring at the sleeping boy as his mind kept wondered several places. He kept thinking about two persons who made him question his life. First, it was Felix and now it was Teahyun.

When thoughts about Taehyun got to his mind, he couldn't help but feel some sort of void in his chest. Taehyun approached him with lust, he accepted being his fuckbuddy, ever since it was only that. But, also he was the only one to make him feel what Felix did, maybe even more than him. For the first time, he felt care and comfort in those lust that Taehyun showed him after Felix.

As he finished the bowl he looked into the bottle of beers that sat on the table. It looked like an invitation to elude from his sorrow. He wanted to escape from reality. Escape the pain, the world around him, the images of the two boys that kept playing in his mind. what else gonna help him do that? So he reached and grabbed the bottles, chucking the alcohol down his throat.

Suddenly, a feeling of relaxation infiltrated into his senses. He closed his eyes as he kept drinking. He wanted to get wasted to the point, where he will forget everything around him. He couldn't bear it anymore, he was slowly losing his sanity. Hot tears of living a helplessly miserable life flowed down his cheeks, he experienced a burning feeling on his cheeks, in his stomach and his heart.

Finishing the second bottle, he put his head back on the chair, with the beer bottle held loosely in his hand. He had his eyes closed all the time. The fear of opening the eyes to see the world again made him feel terrified. His grip on the bottle kept loosening and finally escaped his hands landing on the floor to shatter into several pieces.

Not even the loud sound, that spoiled the tranquillity of the house, made the poor boy open his eyes. Beomgyu kept his eyes closed as the alcohol started making him feel dizzy. But, the sound surely made the other boy who was sleeping on the couch jump waking up, to the loud noise.

Teahyun sat upright, rubbing his eyes and forehead. He felt a throbbing pain in his head, which made him scrunch his nose. He had his eyes close as he couldn't bear the pain. When a sudden thought crept into his mind, he opened his eyes in an instant. Panic getting rose in his chest. He looked around him nervously and his eyes went wide open when he noticed the blonde.

"Hyung-... Beomgyu?" He asked as he stood up and walked towards the blonde.

"Did you drink?" Beomgyu looked at him with bloodshot eyes.

"What for? You look wasted."

"I wanted to escape the world~." The older boy said as if he was singing the line.

"Why? You didn't get back with your ex-girlfriend?"  Teahyun asked as he remembered what the older said when he left the house.

"Wha- you s-seriously thought t-that?" Beomgyu drunk spoke and giggled.

"Yeah. You said so yourself."

"Ok. Who are you to question me?" The older boy stood upright facing Taehyun.

"What is there between u-us?" He asked mindlessly, their faces only inches apart. Teahyun felt an unexplainable rage.

"We're fuck buddies. It's all lust." He said in a stern voice when anger took over him.

"L-Lust? You mean love?"

The word lust made the older boy feel miserable. He asked what he always believed and looked at the younger with expectant eyes. Unlike Soobin and Yeonjun, what if Taehyun says yes. How much will that make him feel better? The fear of him being wrong all the time will vanish. So, he kept looking at the other boy.

"W-What?" Teahyun couldn't understand what the boy meant. But the word love coming from his crush made him feel butterflies in his stomach despite him being angry at the other boy, seconds ago. He cursed himself for letting the older boy have such effects on him.

"T-That's what he said~."  He sang again.

"Who?" Taehyun furrowed his brows in confusion.

"L-Love is nothing but lust. Riight Taehyunie? If we b-both have lust, Doesn't it mean wee are lovers too? You- you should c-care about me then."

He said in a sloppy manner making the younger boy's jaw to hung low, as soon as he processed the other boy's words. He thought maybe alcohol is making the blonde to speak like this.

"What in hell- ah careful." He began but soon got cut off when the older boy slid down. He held him by his waist, trying to not let him in the ground.

"Yeaah. W-Wait I-ll prowve itt"

beomgyu said incoherently as he managed to stand upright, keeping his both hands on the younger's shoulders and took few walks pushing him onto the couch. Teahyun couldn't react, as things were happening too fast.

"Wha- ummpp

He felt a pair of lips muffling up his words. The older was laying on top of him, and was sloppily kissing him. Teahyun pushed him away, he couldn't let the same thing happen again and again. That too in the same damn couch where it all begun.

"Stop it. Why?"

He yelled at the older boy, who now looked at him with pure love and sorrow evident in his eyes. Teahyun couldn't believe what he was seeing and what he heard from the blonde.

"B-Because I f-feel safe when wue doo tis."

He said with a pout on his lips. He blinked numerous times, as now, salty tears were flowing on his face. He looked very weak to the younger boy.

"Itt's com- forting." He said as he hiccuped in the middle.

"I feel cared. S-Shouldn't I?"

Teahyun felt his heart break. He processed the older's words. And when he thought back all the events. It was true all along. He never expressed his love. It only seemed like lust. He felt like a big stupid now.

"Oh my God. Don't cry hyung. I never knew you thought about me like this. It's my mistake. That's how I approached you first and m-made you feel."

He cried along with the older boy, who was sobbing like a baby on his chest.

"I'm a coward. I should have expressed my feelings in the right time." Teahyun said as he kept rubbing circles on the older boy's back.

"W-W hat feelling-s?

Beomgyu asked, snuggling even closer to the younger boy. Even though he was crying, he felt absolutely safe in the younger boy's embrace.

"I can't. Not when you are like this."

Teahyun said awaiting a response from the older, which never came. Only quiet snores were felt. Teahyun smiled to himself. He still couldn't understand why the boy said love is lust. But he could now understand that the blonde does have feelings for him, that made him happy. In few minutes, they both drifted to a peaceful slumber in each other's arms despite all the suffering they had.

They felt safe with each other.

_____

Author's note:

    I'm working on two other Taegyu books, hence the late updates. Lmao
   Hang in there, only a couple more chapters to go.