The Kings Personal Joker (boyxboy)

Chapter Eighty One

"It doesn't matter if she he doesn't, she sits beside him during meals."

Vera rolled her eyes. "That means less than nothing. No one expects the two to be wed just because of seat placement."

"Reia is right though." Agorn replied, his voice was low and loud when he was inebriated, it was always surprising to hear him speak when his normal state was so quiet and mild mannered.

"Is what sense, sir?" I asked him, taking a bite of one of the savoury scones, a little old but still just as tasty.

"They met today in the gardens. She sat and read him poetry. I mean you can't blame the man, she's a pretty little thing."

I frowned as a couple of the others agreed. There was something crunchy in the scone I happened to be eating and I set it aside in favour of the pie being handed out by an uninterested Vera. Not a fan of gossip.

I wasn't either, usually. It was so easy to be mislead by it all.

"What sort of poetry?" I asked quietly.

He hummed. "Not sure. It was from a book. What's that famous one?" He directed his question at Reia who simply shrugged and shoved a larger than necessary bite of pie into her mouth. "That one, you know which one..."

"Jelly?" Fernia asked out of nowhere, offering the plate with the nicely formed translucent jelly to those sitting closest to her.

We shook our heads and the thing was quickly forgot. Nicely formed though it was I wasn't overly keen on the bright red colour, not the floating slices of cucumber. Having had jelly once before I knew it to taste sweet and still vaguely like meat. Besides this the smell of the pie had already made everyone hungry.

"Do you think she is going to marry him?" Someone asked, whose name I did not know.

I stumbled slightly as my loaded fork approached my mouth. I ate the food quietly, looking down at my plate, listening. I felt tense and nervous.

"If he doesn't there'll be a royal baby tossed to the outsiders for raising!" Another said loudly, and the table laughed.

I sat quietly, unable to add a word. The tender skin, the sore twinge that called out from various parts of my body, the marks left behind, it was hard to pretend I held no coin in this game.

Worse yet, somehow, the thought that he would court this woman during a time where 

he takes me at night. Holds me, makes me feel so strangely warm in his embrace... then turns to her and allows himself to be flattered by her.

There was an unfortunate splinter that threatened to ache when I embellished on this thought.

It shouldn't matter, and of course it wouldn't... in fact... wouldn't it be wonderful if such a thing did happen? That he took this woman and was done with me?

If one approaches the scene from an outside perspective they would come to the logical conclusion that the King marrying and being bound by matrimony to another would solve most of my dilemmas.

No longer would I see myself become entwined around his fingers, defeated in his arms, revealed for every part of me that was otherwise so easy to press down and keep hidden. I could no longer worry about betraying a kind, surely handsome and unwitting woman that I was intended for, because he would no longer want me. I would be able to leave eventually, because although he enjoys my entertainment it would not drive him to keep me beside him forever.

He would cast me aside. Then I would bring home the money I had hoarded here, and such a fair amount would be enough to impress both Eudocia and her father, so that their faith in me as a man and as a breadwinner would remain stable. Then, once I fell short, I could start learning the family trade, returning to treacherous waters to cast our nets and bring back good catches.