The Kings Personal Joker (boyxboy)

Chapter Fifty Two

To my dearest Mother,

I am well, and would like to know how you and my siblings are doing. I hope you do not think ill of me for having only now reached out to you, I have written several letters which I must send all together. You see, I find myself in a place and situation that allows very little room for communication between our two worlds. When I first started looking for work here I was informed by several people who come from some insiders that the punishment for illegally travelling inside the kingdom walls has been raised to the ultimate. I do not know if such news has reached you. I wanted to make sure you knew, so that no one is caught and suffers such a shocking end.

As formerly noted, I am well. I have found a job, as I have written in my previous letter to you, as entertainment, and have even found a few friends who I help will aid me in delivering to you this letter. I have a room and a weekly wage, there is a place to wash and eat as well.

Now that I have spoken of good things I must relate to you some which you will probably not be so happy about. I do not wish to worry you, and I hope you understand that, once again as I have mentioned in my last letter, this is not the last step in life for me, I am not settling, I am still searching for my place in this world. 

I have found employment within the palace, something I know you have advised me to steer clear of, though more probably because you thought it vastly unlikely I would be employed at all. The wage I am provided with is significant, beyond what any entertainer has probably been paid for such a short term of work, however I have not yet had the courage to ask to leave this place. I have not been to the Mitter and certainly have not yet attempted to leave the kingdom.

I seem to constantly be breaking rules and running into trouble, I am not used to being held back from anything, or even told what to do. The clothing here is complicated and some of it is only wearable when one has a skilled extra pair of hands ready to help one dress. A boy today, young, perhaps a similar age to Demlis, who called me 'naked' today. I was dressed in a shirt and thick braies, not the thin sort. I cannot imagine the sort of shock one would cause wandering around shirtless as one does in the summer on the outside.

I am trying my best to adapt to this world though. It is not easy, and deep down I worry that I will be swallowed up and forget about my roots, forget where I came from and what I came here for. How strangely alluring this quiet, rigid world is.

I paused. No. No, I could not write that. That was oversharing, a good way to worry her, a way to worry them all, and what good would that do anyone? If I was going to share such things it must be on a paper, to be burned, or perhaps even to Natham, but I could not place the weight of these words on her shoulders. There was already so much to swallow that I worried nervously as I wrote if she would be proud or terribly disappointed.

I covered the words I wished to remove with a heavy layer of ink, which in turn left blotchy marks across the rest of the page.

I am trying my best to adapt to this world though.

We all knew this would not be a short trip, and so I will need longer as expected. I hope you trust me to find my way.

Kind regards from your filial son,

Elpis

I sat my quill down and leaned back finally, easing the tension in my stiff back as I sat cross-legged on the floor of the room, the paper and quill and ink sitting somewhat precariously on the stool in front of me.