Almost

_ F I F T Y - T H R E E _

"Wake up." I feel hands on my shoulder shaking me awake and I sit up groggily rubbing my eyes. 

"Ok." I mumble incoherently and the I hear Will chuckle. 

He unbuckles my seatbelt helping me out of the car and it takes me a few seconds to adjust to the bright lights of the airport and to properly wake. I take my bag and slip it onto my shoulders and look around. Sheila stands by the large airport doors and ushers me beside her with the rest of our luggage. 

"Have a good sleep?" She asks me.

"T'was fine." I reply shortly taking a hold of my suitcase handle and waiting for Will to come.

He comes a few minutes later after sorting out the car and joins us at the doors. Even though it's early in the morning and nowhere near the travelling seasons, the airport is bustling with people. 

I follow behind Sheila and Will as we make our way into the airport. It takes us about forty to do all the things we needed to board the plane and soon enough were sitting at a small cafe with an hour to spend doing whatever we wanted before seven-thirty which is the time we are supposed to be at our terminal. 

I sip quietly on my tea staring at everyone else that was here. They all looked tired or excited to be headed off to their destination in some other country while I sat here not being able to decipher how I felt. I could feel the worried glances of Sheila on me so I shifted my eyes to meet hers and I'm met with a pitying look. I hated it when people looked at me like that. 

"You alright?" She asks me leaning over close to me in her chair and holding my hand that rested on the table. 

For some reason, I flinch at her sudden closeness and pull my hand from hers and resting it on my lap. 

"Fine." I answer curtly. 

"We could always just go back home if you've changed your mind. You don't have to go if you're not feeling comfortable." She looks worried and concerned at the same time. 

"No. I still want to go." 

I had to go. I needed to know if he was the same old John or a completely changed one. And besides, he was my Dad after all and me not going was like I was abandoning him and I felt bad. I couldn't abandon him, he was my only family left. My Mom and Dad were both cut off from their parents, my grandparents when they were young. 

I never met any other of my relatives as my parents had also cut themselves off from them either so even if I wanted to find them I wouldn't have a clue on how to start. They probably wouldn't even want to get to know me anyways. They had no reason to and I'd just be a burden.

Will doesn't say anything but I can tell he's feeling the same way as his mom. Here I go again causing unnecessary stress to others. 

Soon enough it's time for us to board our plane. We were sitting in first class and I was looking forward to the comfy flight ahead of us. It would take nine hours to get to the UK and by the time we got there, it would be 9 pm UK time. 

I look at my ticket to find my seat and I'm happy when I find its closer to the window and I'd be able to look out at the clouds and somehow try to figure out what to do when I come face to face with John. I sit down placing my bag next to me and I take out my phone and Airpods so I can listen to music for the entire flight and block out everybody and hopefully everything. 

Making myself comfy I look out the window hoping to doze off soon.

Flashback

"Where is he?" Mom asks angrily stabbing out a message on her phone adding to the already growing list of unreceived messages to Dad.