Almost

_ F O U R T Y - F I V E _

"Dead?" 

"Yup." He says it so casually that I wonder if there was more to it. There had to be.

"What happened?" I chance knowing that he probably wouldn't answer the question. 

"Got shot in the head." 

I nod slowly looking at him. His jaw was clenched tightly and I could see the veins on his neck that looked like they were about to pop out. 

"We were supposed to be in Juvie for about five to six years but it was reduced to three because of our good behaviour and cooperation. We were only let out two weeks before school started."

"But Damon and Eli live here, what were they doing in England?"

"Their father had business over in England with people and Damon and Eli tagged along."

"And what about your mom? Was she ok?" I ask.

"She moved here wanting to get away from everything. Didn't visit me once but it didn't hurt me as much as I thought it would. I mean, I wouldn't visit me too. She was so disappointed in me when she found out about everything and I was happy because I wouldn't be able to face her if she visited me at all."

"That last day I saw you and I told you to meet up with me and I never came?" He looks at me and I nod.

"Yeah?" 

"It was to come say goodbye. I knew shit was gonna happen so I wanted to see you one last time before I did but I didn't get the chance. I'm really sorry. I understand  if you still hate me, cause I would as well." After saying all that he stands up walking towards the door.

Tipsy me wanted to get up and hug him but the sober me wanted to sit down and think over everything he just told me. So pushing all thoughts away stand and do just that.

I wrap my arms around him and bury my face into his back, trapping his arms and stopping him. 

"I don't hate you." I say. My voice comes out all muffled but I know he heard me.

He doesn't say anything. He turns around and he hugs me, tightly. 

"Really?" He sounds like a child who's been let off after getting into trouble and I cant help but hug him tighter.

I feel like an idiot after listening yo everything he's told me. He's been through so much and here I am invalidating his feelings over something so stupid. 

"Yes. Really." I pull away looking up at him and he grins down at me.

"Dude. You're smiling." He says and he pokes his finger on my left cheek that had the slight dent of a dimple.

"Oh." Is all I say. I could feel the pull of my raised cheek bones from smiling and I looked away from him. I raise my hands to my cheeks embarrassed trying to stop smiling.

"Nah, keep smiling its cute." He says pulling my hands away and I bite my lip nervously not knowing what to do. I was beyond flustered.

My eyes flicker towards the door wanting to change the subject. "Uhm.. Wanna head back to the party?"

He shakes his head. "How about we watch a movie instead?" 

"Sure." I say nodding my head. 

We just stand in the middle of the room awkwardly not saying anything and I look around my room trying to find something to start a conversation about. Nothing comes to mind so I decide to get changed.

"I'm gonna go get changed. The remote is over there so look for something we could watch." I say to him pointing to the remote of the TV that was on my desk.