Crushed with love (Crush Imagines)

Regretting You (pt.2)

"Oh god, I was so thankful for that day. To be able to know what it was like to be with you." He whispers. "I've spent all of these years without you and not once have I experienced real happiness since then, most of my hours are spent regretting you, the lack of you."

Hours were spent just as they were, sitting and praying that she would wake up or praying that she was taken away from the pain, whatever was best for her. His grip loosened as he began to fall asleep, something so natural about having you in his arms allowing him to have a solid few hours of rest unlike he'd been able to in the past few years.

His dreams were like a broken record, repeating that day at the beach hotel in his head, torturing his mind as he held onto you, every time, he watched your smile grow, your laugh distant in his ears, the two of you had spent the day dancing and watching movies, too engrossed in each other to actually pay attention.

As early hours of the morning came a cool breeze passed through the room and both C/n and your mother woke, feeling as if they were no longer the only ones there. C/n grimaced as a hushed breath ran over his ear.

"I have to go my love." The voice ran around his head wreaking havoc on the rest of his mind. "I missed you, my dear, all this time. You've experienced me. I've experienced you. But it must not go on any longer, I have no life left for you to experience." He turned to face you, the slightest shadow of a figure standing before him, you were exactly as you were the day you read his poems.

"I already told you, darling, if you have to go, it's okay." He struggled to get through his words.
"Goodbye C/n." You were whisked away with the wind, giving him enough time to return to holding you before your heart monitor let out a long whining screech.

You had flatlined.

Stomach-churning sobs escaped C/N's mouth, refusing to let you go even as the doctors attempted to resuscitate you, you were gone, and he knew it and he wasn't letting you go.

The warmth faded from your body like you were a dying fire and with due time he stood from the bed, his lip trembling as he looks at your lifeless face. You were so different, missing all the things C/n loved about you the most, your glow, your love, your brightness.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, cries vibrating in his throat. Your mother was calmer than him, destroyed by your death but all the same calm, she knew you weren't in pain any longer, she knew you were safe.

Your funeral was a week later, open casket and all, no matter how close they had come to make you a normal colour with the perfect blush to your cheeks, you still weren't the same. The first four stages of grief kept repeating themselves never once allowing him to get to acceptance.

Not even when a month had passed, he seemed stuck between anger and depression. He spent his time spreading the contents of boxes he had in his closet across his apartment floor, the entire place a wreck.

First, it was photos, whether it was photos of him taken by you, or ones he'd taken of you, or the two of you together, it connected him to you, sparks of what used to be flickering something in his heart before it died again.

He still had your clothes, and he was given back the sweater you had kept from your relationship, the one you still loved to wear before you passed. He couldn't get enough of your scent, trying whatever he could to maintain any sign of you.

Most of the time C/n remained in his bed, tangled up in the plush white sheets, rain pouring most hours of the day, most days of the week, trying to remember everything that was you.

But the day we've come to talk about, the one that concludes the entire story was a blessed day, with sunshine and sea breeze as he collapsed on the bed of the hotel room where his love for you was confessed, the same white curtain twirling in the wind.

He lay on his back, staring out at the sea, he had simply stopped feeling anything, tears fell but he no longer felt the pain, other than the panging in his chest. He wore the sweater you loved and pair of jeans he hadn't worn since you broke up.

His mind kept switching between the strain in his chest and the thought of you smile, he hears your reciting his poem, he hears you say you love him, he hears you singing random songs he loved, a smile came to his face, one he never thought he'd display again.

He closed his eyes, your presence surrounding him. His smile faded, the mouth twitching with a slight tremble as he struggles for a deep breath, his final breath for his heart longed for you too much. His heart had strained, now as the sunlight glazed over his face, coming to a stop.

It was rare but C/n C/ln, love of your life, died of a broken heart.

All because he'd experienced you.

I'm sorry this was late! It's assignment week ugh hehe! 

I hope you enjoy it, I might do a second update this week! I hope everyone is safe and if you ever need to talk I'm right here!

I hope your day/night is chocolious!!!

~Brei