Dreaming Of You

Chapter 25

I took dr. Shelby's 'assignments' to heart. over the following days.

I wrote loads of letters. They were all about the same but none perfectly said what I wanted to say.

For some reason, writing this letter had been more easily said than done.

I also realized that I really did want to tell someone everything. I wanted to have someone to confide in but I wasn't sure who that someone was meant to be.

I had been struggling with it for a few days so I decided to take a break. I had to clean everything up anyway.

Joe was coming over later. Once a month we had our own movie marathon. It was something we used to do with Matt before I went into my coma and now we were still having them in Matt's honor. I thought it was a nice testament to how close the three of us had been as he always felt closer to us during those movie nights.

I was just about to hide the most recent letter when my phone started to ring due to an incoming call. I checked the caller ID to see that it was Jeff.

"Sup Hardy boy." I greeted him.

"Hey Marvel." He replied with a chuckle. "Matt and I wanted to know if you felt like boarding a plane and coming out here to hang out later. Matt is stressed out over Maxel having fallen off a swing so I figured we could cheer him up."

"Ahww poor Max. I wish I could come but its movie night. Joe should be here in about an hour. It's how we remember Matt so I can't exactly cancel it." I explained to him

"It's cool. We understand that that's important to you both." I was glad that both Jeff and Matt were understanding people.

"I'll swing by tomorrow though, see how Matt is doing. Tell him I said hi and to stop worrying. Max will be fine."

"Will do Marvel, have fun with the movies."

We hung up and I got everything ready.

Half an hour later I suddenly got another call. This time it was Joe.

"Hey cheekbone, I'm just setting everything up. Want me to have a beer on the ready for you when you get here."

"About that..." Joe started. "I'm not going to make it tonight?"

I frowned in worry "Why? Are you okay? Please tell me you didn't have an accident."

"No, no, I'm fine. No accidents, I promise."

"Then why won't you be making it?" I asked since I wanted to clear up the confusion.

"Becks called. She said she needed to talk to me about something important." Joe explained.

"Well, your house isn't too far away from mine, right? You could come after." I suggested

"She isn't in Pensacola, she's at her own house in L.A." Joe replied with a sigh. "I'm sorry Raych, raincheck on movie night?"

"Sure Joseph. We can take a raincheck. I'll see you around."

I ended the call and threw my phone against the wall. It wasn't that I didn't get why he went to her, she was his fiancé after all. I had just hoped that the movie nights we shared in honor of his brother meant as much to him as they did to me. Movie nights were the only times I could genuinely smile and that meant a lot to me. I had hoped that seeing his best friend smile would mean as much to him as well.

I looked at my now broken phone and noticed that the vibrations of the phone hitting the wall had made something else fall off a nearby shelf as well. It was Joe's wedding invitation.

I walked over and picked it up. It was one of those classy invitations. It was pink and had 'Save the date' written on the front of it. With a pang in my heart, I suddenly realized what I had to do. For the first time I wasn't thinking of what I needed to do for someone else, but about what I needed to do for me.

I quickly got a pen and a few pieces of paper and started to write.

'Dear Leati, dear Joe, dear Cheekbone,

Over the years that we have known each other you have become so much to me. You have been my best friend, my confidant, my protector, my partner in crime and so much more.

You know me better than almost anyone, maybe not as good as Matt but you came close.

I need you to know how much you both have meant to me. I will never be able to repay you for that and I will forever carry Matt's memory with me.

When I woke up my world shattered as I learned that 2 years of my life had passed me by. Matt was the first person I wanted to talk to and I regret that I could never tell him what I'm about to tell you.

I wish I could be telling you this in person instead of in a letter but my heart wouldn't be able to bear that.

I told you that during my coma I had dreamed that I became a wrestler but I did not tell you that it was only a part of a much bigger thing.

You see, in my dream I started wrestling for someone else, someone who became everything to me. Someone I wanted to grow old with and wanted to have a family with. In my dream, we were supposed to get married.

And then I woke up and it turned out to be nothing more than a beautiful dream.

I am so sorry but I simply cannot attend your wedding after it. Not because of the wedding itself but because the person I was set to marry was you.

Watching the man that I love get married to someone else would kill me, no matter how good of a friend you are.

I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember but never said anything as I was scared to ruin our friendship. I tried to ignore my feelings but trying not to love you backfired every single time because it only made me love you more.

To this day I still hope that my feelings won't change the fact that you're my best friend in the world but due to my feelings I do feel like I need to be by myself for a while and give myself the chance to get over you.

I hope that the next time we will see each other our friendship will still be the same. I hope you won't hate me and will be excited to see me again. You will forever have a place in my life.

I know that someday we will see each other again, I know that as a fact but for now I am saying goodbye. I wish you and Rebecca all the happiness in the world. She is a sweetheart and I will always consider her a good friend.

love,
Raychel'

-

An hour later I had left my letter in Joe's kitchen, having a key since I'd often water his plants and keep an eye on the house when he had one of his tours.

I had packed the things I needed and was currently deciding on where to go... or should I say who to go to.

Dr. Shelby's advice came to mind. I needed to think of a friend to confide in. Someone understanding, trustworthy and honest.

There was a hand full of people who came to mind. Only two of them however had showed me understanding upon meeting them.

I boarded the first plane I could get and within 4 hours I got to my destination.