Dreaming Of You

chapter 14

"Alright, we are here. Can we please get this over with quickly?" I asked a little stressed out.

"Calm down lass, you are going to be fine." Rebecca tried to calm me. "Just take it one step at a time."

"You're right, I know but I just have this feeling like something is about to happen." I explained.

"I'm sure nothing terrible will happen tonight." Rebecca assured me.

"Yeah, maybe I'm just overreacting." I admitted. "Maybe it's just the lingering stress that is getting to me."

"Just think about tomorrow instead of tonight." Rebecca suggested.

"Maybe that would be a good idea... Should we go watch Joe and Jon? They are up next" I questioned. Yes, I was trying to keep my distance but I still wanted to make sure they were doing okay.

"Only if you promise that you will only watch it, don't get stuck in your head again by watching them" She warned as we were already heading to the big screen in the backstage area.

We were just in time to see them going into the ring and grab a microphone.

"Last night at Fastlane was a really bad night for us." Jon began. "It was nothing like we had planned at all."

"We didn't only lose a team member. We lost a friend as well." Joe continued. "She said she had her reasons but she didn't even come talk to us about it."

"But we want her to know that we will always consider her a part of this team, no matter what happens." Jon added

"However, friendship goes both ways. We can't help her and have her back if we don't know what's going on. We want an explanation, so Raychel please come out here." Joe called me out.

"Well, seems like you were right about that something was going to happen tonight after all." Rebecca looked at me with sympathy "And it seems like you have no choice but to go out there now."

"I'm well aware yes." I groaned. I was not looking forward to this at all. "I guess here goes nothing in that case."

I wasn't far from the gorilla so it didn't take much time for me to get out to the ring. I got in without looking at the guys, I couldn't bring myself to look either of them in the eyes.

When I got my microphone, Joe started talking "Raych, we don't get it. You say you got stuck in your head, yet you also decide not to tell anyone what's going on and carry all of this weight by yourself. Why didn't you just come to us. Please explain to me what could be so complicated that I wouldn't get it? We have been best friends since we were kids Raych."

"Why, why do you want an explanation so badly? Can't you just accept that it's complicated? Hell, even if I could explain, we both know I'm too stubborn to tell you." I snapped at him, which I regretted immediately.

"Yeah, I know that you can be stubborn and I know that you can be bossy as well. You're used to everything always going your way and you always getting what you want but not tonight. I want an explanation." I could hear that Joe was angry at me. His voice gave it away.

"You really think I always get what I want?" I asked, almost shocked that he could say that to me. "This may come as a shocker but I don't. I have to work hard for everything I have but I don't nearly have anything I want."

"Guys let's all calm down please." Jon said.

"No, I want to know what she has to say. Because yes I do think you have everything." Joe said.

"You know what. I've had enough of it, if you really were my friend then you would never say that. You should know that I work my ass off and that even though I do that, it never seems to be enough." I almost screamed of anger.

"What about your career, it was basically handed to you." Joe continued.

"And I never even wanted to do this in the first place." I was too angry to think before speaking, so I just didn't think about what I said at all

"Then why are you doing this in the first place?" Joe asked.

The anger that I had felt only seconds ago, slowly faded into the familiar pain.

"You really don't have a clue, do you? I did it for you idiot. I'm doing this because you told me I should do this, because I actually am so foolishly, so deeply in love with you that I actually would do whatever the hell you'd want me to do, you are just too blind to see it." What the hell if he knew, I had probably lost him anyway. "But this business started to grow on me. In NXT, without you to distract me, I was able to be this better, stronger and more confident version of myself. But ever since they moved me to this place all those thoughts and feelings that blinded me all came back."

Everyone was listening silently to what I said, the crowd, the guys, the people at commentary, even the camera crew didn't make a sound. "I really love this business, I have grown to love it, but I'm beginning to lose sight of everything that I stand for and believe in. So no, I really don't get everything I want. You wanted a reason, now you have one. I am done pretending to be okay with us being friends."

I was genuinely holding back my tears as I threw my mic on the floor and walked away. Once I got backstage, Rebecca and Stephanie were waiting for me

"So, that was pretty intense. Are you okay?" Rebecca asked me.

"No, I am far from okay. I just want to get out of here and not come back until WrestleMania." I sniffed. Once she embraced me, I couldn't hold back my tears any longer.

"You got it." Stephanie rubbed my back in comfort. "You deserve some time off, come back whenever you feel ready."

"Thanks Steph, not only for understanding but for everything." I said to her. I couldn't have wished for a better boss at the moment.

"No problem I will cover for you as long as possible." Stephanie assured me.

"Mind if I go with her?" Rebecca asked her. "Not sure it's smart for her to be on her own."

"No, she needs a friend right now." Stephanie agreed to Rebecca's request. I knew she was probably right as well. I definitely could use a friend in the weeks ahead of me.