Under The Fox's Tail ⁷

Loving You

The surrounding around you started to get painted into whiteness as you kept looking into the eyes of the goddess that was standing before you and whose darkness seemed to have consumed you whole. Your body was feeling lighter as if parts of your flesh were being erased by an invisible hand, leaving only your consciousness to wake in an unfamiliar place.

You inhaled a sharp breath once you were able to fully see again and you felt your two feet standing upon solid ground. Your hands reached to your chest instinctively as you bent over, taking in more big breaths as if you had just returned from a deep dive into some dark ocean.

It took you some minutes to collect yourself and straighten your posture only to take a better look around you and realize that you were standing below a huge tree in the middle of a field that seemed to be full of wooden crosses planted on the ground.

You stared at the land before you, as a strong wind blew against your face, the realization that this was a cemetery soon crossing your mind and making you get goosebumps all over your body. A painful feeling resting on your chest at how empty and sorrowful this place felt and you couldn't help but hug yourself in desperate need to remind yourself that you were still alive.

It didn't take long for your momentary fear to get disturbed, however, by some cries that for some reason you had not heard before. You looked around in an attempt to find the source and strangely at every step you took the crying started echoing louder and louder in your ears till it came a moment that it blended perfectly with the atmosphere and you realized that it was coming from right behind you.

You turned around immediately but all you came to see was the body of that giant tree and as you stared at it, something inside you urged you to approach it more. You did so hesitantly, reaching your hand to touch it with various doubts circling in your head but as your fingers were about to come in contact with it, your hand passed right through it, bringing an exhale of surprise out of your lips.

"This is not real, is it? This is... just like the last time."You murmured to yourself assuming that the goddess had taken you somewhere again just like she had done when she had allowed you to take a glimpse of Hoseok's death.

"What do you want from me this time? What does all this have to do with me?" You spoke to the air in hopes that she was listening to you but all you took as an answer was a strange force that pushed your footsteps to walk around the tree till in your sight fell the image of a girl.

There she stood, fallen to her knees right before a wooden cross that was placed under the giant shadow that the branches of this tree created. Her hair was being blown by the wind messily and for the first time since you were there, you felt the freezing weather against your skin.

A shaky breath left your lips as you suddenly felt that weird sensation of a chain being pulled inside you and you found yourself right beside that girl on your knees. You couldn't help but be surprised as you came to look at her profile which was none other than yours. There you were crying your eyes out desperately and mourning in a way that brought your own eyes to be filled with tears.

She looked so much like you that it was terrifying, and if it wasn't for the fact that she was wearing different clothes you could have mistaken her for your reflection.

"Why! Whyyy! Don't leave me like this!" She yelled suddenly as she lowered her head to the ground and you dared to gaze forward towards that cross, already having a guess of who that grave belonged to.

Hoseok...the girl in that drawing that you looked towards with so many feelings on your last breath...she...is crying for you. Isn't she?

The chain inside you was felt again in a more subtle way but strangely it no longer pulled you towards the cross that had his name but it felt as if it was directed towards that girl who seemed devastated before your eyes.

The more she cried, the more her tears felt like bitter drops against your chest. The more she begged him to come back, the more you wished for her wish to come true as she was really too pitiful.

"Don't do this. He is gone. Stop crying." You spoke to her with tears in your eyes as you tried to touch her shoulder only for your hand to pass right through it, reminding you of the fact that no matter what this is, you were merely an observer.

"You are my only friend." The girl mumbled as she gazed towards the cross with a pleading gaze. Her hand reached towards it and touched it tremblingly and you soon witnessed her throwing her body at the wooden piece and hugging it with all her might.

"You were always there for me. Even though my parents abandoned me, you never did. You held my hands through bad and good yet I-" Her voice broke as another sob left her throat and she tightened her hold on the cross as if she was holding him.

"I left you alone. You burned to death looking for me. I am so sorry. I am so sorry." She cried out loud and her voice felt as if it tore the sky as a couple of thunders roamed loudly after her.

"I love you! I have always loved you! I wanted to be with you forever! Please!" She continued and for some strange reason, you found yourself sobbing and crying out loud, feeling every single emotion she was feeling.

It was painful, the guilt that ran through her veins, the taste of loss that you felt in your mouth, the emptiness and chaos that ruled her heart and took over yours.

"It's unfair! Please! Why?! I wanna see you again! I wanna tell you all the things I never had the chance! You have to know...that my heart belongs to you." Her voice softened towards the end and you couldn't help but reach out to her in an attempt to hold her, comfort her, do anything to soothe her for her pain was too great and it was paining you as well but as soon as you reached out for her, everything became dark again and you felt the chain inside you pulling your consciousness back to a pit of darkness and in a blink of an eye, became again the eyes of the goddess.

A desperate breath escaped from your lips as you collapsed on the grass, your head was empty of thoughts and your cheeks still stained from the tears you had shaded for the pain of an individual that was not you.

Your chest felt heavy and the process of inhaling felt painful, your sight waving in blurriness till you felt someone touch your shoulder and turn you around.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" Yukio gazed upon you with a worried expression and you just blankly stared at her for a moment, before the realization that she was no longer frozen nor she had those grasses slipping under her skin, crossed your mind.

"Oh my! You are okay! Thank God!" You threw yourself at her and hugged her tightly, feeling relieved that she was back to normal then you pulled away, intending to thank the Goddess for she had made your request a reality but as you watched around. You saw nothing.

She was not around nor was that oranged hair guy but most importantly, neither was Hoseok and the sight of his absence suddenly filled you with worry and made you stand up on your own feet as quickly as possible and call his name.

"Hoseok! Hoseok!" You yelled as you walked around looking upwards in the hope of seeing him somewhere but as minutes ticked away and he did not respond, a sense of fear started growing inside you.

Where are you? You can't be punished for this, right? You didn't do anything. You were just trying to save us.

You worried right before you called his name once again and to your delight you felt someone's presence appearing behind you and with a smile, you turned to face him only for that smile to falter when you took notice of his two hands that were now burned and bloody along with a small part of his shoulder.

"I won" Yet all he did was smile at you as if nothing had happened. As if he was not in pain. As if he was not to collapse in your embrace just a moment ago as he did.

---To be continued...