Under The Fox's Tail ⁷

Yearning

The hot tears strimming down his cheeks had been keeping him company for what felt like forever while his unblinking eyes remained frozen in time as in his mind like a storm had returned every single moment he had lived in his first life.

From the day he was born, to the moment he had left his last breath. There was not a single moment that he didn't feel in his bones, making it certain to him that he indeed had lived all those things.

However, what was the thing that shocked him more than anything, was the force of his own feelings towards a woman that had your face and your name. A woman that apparently meant enough for him, to have him whipping tears for her, instead of the burning flames that had engulfed him.

The Goddess in charge of Hoseok's spirit kept observing him with her usual poker face, waiting for him to get himself together enough for her to have a proper conversation with him. A conversation that she wasn't awaiting to happen so soon, but nonetheless she knew that the time Hoseok would get to know about his past, would arrive.

"Y/N" From Hoseok's lips escaped a mumble of your name right before his orbs finally moved a bit and he started getting more aware of his current surroundings, getting detached from the past life he was emerged into.

"That- That was really real...I lived all that...I felt all that." He spoke again, his frozen body returning to movement as his nine tails, whipped away his tears for him.

"Is Y/N-...This current Y/N really the one from my first life?" He showed his wondering face to the Goddess as he floated closer to her, with a chaotic state of mind and a storm of feelings swirling in his chest.

"Yes, Yes she is." The goddess replied instantly, as they looked each other eye to eye, leaving Hoseok in a state of confusion as he didn't know, what was he supposed to feel at that moment and if he was even supposed to be feeling all the things that he did.

"No, there's no way. They are so different. In this life, Y/N hates my guts." He denied the possibility even though he was aware that the Goddess never lied, and she didn't say a thing to erase that denial of his.

"Is this the reason why I wasn't allowed back to the spirit realm? Did I yearn that much for this human that I unconsciously caused my soul to be maintained as a spirit, just so I could live enough to see her once more?" Hoseok questioned her, as inwardly he understood that it could be very much possible for his past feelings for you -that were now alive again inside his chest- for to his understanding they seemed strong enough to curse him to such a twisted fate.

"No. It was not your soul's yearning for her, that won you this chance of existence." The Goddess uttered, perplexing him momentarily, only for her to continue her words and set him in utter shock.

"It was her. It was her yearning for you, that chained you both to a reunion."

Hoseok couldn't believe his own ears. The you that he knew, didn't like him yet alone love him as much as she was telling him, nor he recalled the you of the past to have ever confessed such love to him. In his eyes, he had died loving you one-sidedly. He had burned alive, speaking to your portrait words of love and apologies and he had left his last breath, dreaming of holding you in a hug one last time.

"She had so much love for you, that she herself had not admitted to her own self. You could not imagine, the way she mourned for you. The way she yearned for you. The way she begged to have a chance to show you how much you meant to her. This woman spent the rest of her first life in misery. She dwelled in guilt and soaked herself in prayers for you. She bled to death before your grave, murmuring wishes and begging of having a second chance with you. Y/N's heartbreak was what moved the heavens and got you both a ticket to that so-wanted chance." The Goddess blinked her eyes once and all she was speaking about flashed before Hoseok's eyes in an instant, leaving him with a piercing pain in his chest and eyes filled with tears.