So Wrong Yet Feels So Right

PROLOGUE

PROLOGUE

All my life I did my best to please the people around me. I won't give up just to hear the word 'proud' from my family.

"Keep it up," sambit ni Daddy ng ipakita ko sa kaniya ang report card ko.

I'm our class valedictorian. Sinisikap kong mapanatili iyon.

Daddy put down my report card. I think he didn't read that through. He only looked at it for less than five seconds I guess.

I told him I'm the valedictorian and I think that was all he wants to hear.

He silently mentioned to me the door of his office. I already know what he meant by that. May kausap na kasi siya sa cellphone at gusto niyang lumabas na ako ng opisina niya.

I smiled to dad, masaya na ako na naabala ko siya kahit sandali.

I quietly closed the door and waited in our sala set for my Mommy's arrival. Ngayon ang dating niya galing kina lolo at lola. Hindi ako nakasama sa pagbisita niya dahil exam week.

Hindi naman ako nabigo. Ilang minuto lang ay narinig ko na ang bumubusinang sasakyan ni Mommy. Agad akong tumayo para salubungin siya.

"Mommy!" bati ko sabay yayakap sana pero hindi natuloy dahil yumuko siya sa sasakyan para kuhanin ang isang bilao ng kakanin na sigurado akong gawa ni lola.

"Pakibitbit, hija," ani Mommy na agad kong sinunod.

"I'm exhausted!" si Mommy ng makapasok na ng bahay.

"You know you can't. We still need to go somewhere," si Daddy na pababa ng hagdanan at narinig ang sinabi ni Mommy.

"Of course, Fernando! I just need ten minutes," sagot ni Mommy.

May pupuntahan na naman sila at gaya ng lagi ay maiiwan ako sa malaking bahay namin na mag-isa. Well, we have maids, guards and drivers, so I'm not totally alone.

I'm still holding my report card, trying to find a good timing to show it to Mommy.

"Mommy!" I said happily.

"Oh yes, Amanda, your lola made that for you," wika ni Mommy kahit na wala pa naman akong sinasabi.

She's talking about the bibingka that was being served to us now.

"No, Mommy. I just want to show you this..." sa wakas ay nagkaroon na din ako ng pagkakataon na ipakita ang report card ko.

Nothing's change on her reaction, though.

"Alright, hija. Akyat muna ko sa kwarto. I need a little rest," ani Mommy.

Bigo kong binaba ang kamay ko. Pagod lang siguro talaga si Mommy?

Daddy is a politician and he's now running to be a governor of this city. Lagi siyang subsob sa trabaho at madalang kaming magkita sa bahay. Ganoon din si Mommy dahil lagi siyang kasama ni Daddy.

"Amanda, make sure to listen to your tutor well, okay?" bilin ni Mommy ng pagkatapos lang ng saglit na saglit niyang pahinga ay bumaba na agad para sa lakad nila ni Daddy.

"Mercedes, tara na!" nagmamadaling tawag ni Daddy kay Mommy.

I went back to my room doing nothing. Alas kwatro pa lang at may isang oras pa ako bago dumating ang tutor ko.

Wala na akong magawa dahil kahit na maaga kaming pinauwi sa school ay tumambay pa ako ng library para mag-advance reading kaya libre na ako ngayon hanggang dumating ang tutor ko.

I tried opening my social media accounts na madalang ko lang gamitin. Hindi ako masyadong pinagagamit nila Daddy dahil kailangan naming magdoble ingat sa mga pinopost online. Daddy's rivals can always twist our own words.