Natasha x Y/N

Chapter 26

Warnings: Angst, sad, grief. Much like the previous chapter, apologies in advance.

Y/n's POV

A gentle nurse woke me from my troubled slumber and led me across the hospital complex where I was told Steve was waiting for me. I tried to shake the tiredness from my limbs but it seemed to have soaked deep into my muscles.

Noticing this the nurse said to me, "Agent Rogers has a coffee waiting for you, he seemed worried that you were okay."

I nodded and faint smile on my lips as I half listened to her words.

"Boyfriend?" She asked me as we turned round another corner.

"What?" I asked snapping out of my thoughts. "Oh, right. Uhm no, no he is just a close friend of mine." I told her politely.

"Well he is very handsome, I wouldn't wait too long." She tried to warn.

"I appreciate the advice but he isn't really my type and I am already in a relationship." I told her gently.

"Oh who is the lucky man?" She tried to make conversation.

"Well you have met them actually." I said.

"Eyepatch?" She pointed to her eye.

"No, no! Definitely not, I was actually refering to Agent Romanoff." As slight pink painted my cheeks.

"Oh? Well I don't know much about her but she seems....intimidating?" The nurse offered.

"Oh yeah, she can be." I chuckled to myself. "She has a reputation to uphold but can be a real softie when you catch her at the right time."

"Is that so?" The nurse smiled at me. I nodded sadly as I thought about Nat's form being rushed to the hospital and not being allowed to see her. "Well here we are, Steve will be around here somewhere." She paused to look at me. "Just- It looks bad but it'll get better quickly." The nurse patted my shoulder comfortingly and left swiftly.

I turned confused and made my way to the door we had stopped outside. 2 S.H.I.E.L.D agents tried to block my path but I waved them my clearance badge and they stepped aside sheepishly. 

Just as I put my hand on the door a voice sounded out behind me.

"Y/n?" I turned and saw Cap standing there, 2 coffees in hand and a worried look on his face.

I walked over to him and sat on one of the three chairs outside the room, he did the same, passing me a coffee as he did. I took it gratefully and scalded my tongue on the first sip.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"That's Nat's room." His eyes shifted to where I had stood just moments before.

Realisation washed over me and I leant back in my seat. "Oh..."

"Yeah...oh." He agreed sighing a little.

"Have you....have you been in?" I asked after a momentary pause. He took a sip of his drink and nodded his head slightly at me in answer. "H-how is she?" I asked, my voice barely audible.

Steve placed his coffee on the ground by his feet and rubbed his face with his hands before looking at me. I saw the pain in those ice blue eyes and swallowed thickly. 

"Just tell me." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before resting them on his grey face.

"Nat is- well." He thought about how best to tell me. "Nat is in a bad way." He said simply.

"Worse than Ultron?" I half- joked.

"Physically? Definitely. Emotionally? Probably yes too." Steve looked down at his shoes as his lace came undone. "I won't stop you from going in there but I felt I should warn you, this will never leave you."

"I don't want it to." I clenched my fist angrily before Steve took my hand in his and told me to calm down. I did and stood up, wiping my perspired hands on my trousers. I gave Steve a terse nod before making my way to Nat's room.

Once inside the smell of disinfectant and blood invaded my senses and I nearly gagged. Then the bright white lights of the room shone on me and I immediately made a mental note to ask the nurse to turn them down. I knew Nat had a fear of operating tables and everything that went with it, especially after her graduation ceremony. 

I walked over to the bed where Nat was laying, soaking in the image before me. This was the worst I had ever seen her. Nearly all of her skin was an unnatural shade of violet or blue. Her red hair contrasted the stark white of the numerous casts on her body. I ran a hand through my own hair and sighed loudly as the look of utter defeat was etched onto my loves face. Normally it was incredibly difficult to tell how she was feeling but in a coma? It could not have been more clear.

I sat in the chair that Steve had dragged over previously and held her hand, not too tightly, but enough for her to maybe feel it. At least that is what I hoped. My eyes travelled from her raised leg, to her casted midsection, up her arms and to her angelic face which was now covered with cuts and bruises. A long gash ran down her cheek bone and she had quite the black eye. Some of her hair, I noticed, had been pulled out rather viciously.

I felt my blood boil as I gazed at her body, seemingly smaller than before. I needed to scream or yell. I needed to hold her and kiss her and tell her that everything would be okay. I wanted to sleep and never wake up. All I wanted was for her to be safe in my arms again. I felt my anger bubbling out of me and due to my super strength I could crush Nat's hand so I let go and teleported out of that hospital as fast as I could. 

Steve opened the door to check on me as I disappeared with a regretful look on my face. He smiled comfortingly but his eyes showed the hurt he felt in his heart as I left him. 

I would be back, I knew I would. I just didn't know when.

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I am so sorry that I have been so absent guys. Kinda lost motivation and got really busy for a bit but I will try update some more now that I am back x

I also apologise for these being so sad at the minute but bare with me please :)

Here is your reminder to;

Go on a walk or some form of exercise today, it is actually good for you.

Go and get a glass of water, we all know you need to drink more.

Please try and eat at least one meal today. It can be tricky, trust me I know, but just try.

Finally I need you to know that you are doing really well. Like actually doing really well, keep going. You got this. I believe in you and you can sure as hell believe that there is no way Steve would let you be sad for long. He would lean against your doorframe in some shirt, 3x too small for him and smile his soft sad smile. His blue eyes would find yours and he would just hold you until you felt better. You could cry and sniffle and sob and he would just hold you.

Steve Rogers is a great guy, remember that he would be with you 'until the end of the line'

Sorry for the reference but what I am saying is, I love you, Steve loves you and so do the others 

I love you all x