TRUE LOVE (PART 2)

THE PAST NINE YEARS

I was supposed to call him?
It was not a breakup letter?
He always loved me?
Did he leave because of his father?
He felt scared because I would reject him?
Does he love me?
All this time it was my fault?
Because of me, we both suffered for nine years?

"Jasmin!" Aly shook me.
I blinked and stared at him when he spoke my name in panic. He wiped tears from my eyes and stared back at me with red eyes.

I didn't realize when I had started crying. I was in shock and it paralyzed my body.
Questions were juggling in my mind, whose answers were agonizing. I wanted to say something but I couldn't, as my voice was lost again.

"jasmin, are you ok?" he asked concerned.
He holds my hands and squeezed lightly. As a gesture of reassurance that he was here now, with me and everything was fine.

I looked at our hands. I'm not holding his hand. I'm still paralyzed with the shock. I looked down at my hands and more tears flowed.

I snapped from the shock and I snatched the letter from his hand to read it myself.
To reconfirm what he just now read was it really written in here or not. It was like I wished the letter to be a breakup letter just like I had assumed for the past nine years. As I read the letter, I saw where his hand shock and where his tear dropped as it smug some words. My tears started falling on the letter as I read it once again. I shook my head in denial.

I was supposed to call him?
It was not a breakup letter?
He loved me and has always loved me, just as I did.
He left me, because of his father? Not because of my sadness.
It scares him, I would reject him. And I rejected him. I didn't call him.

He loves me. Loves me enough to find that I rejected him and for my happiness, he never called.
It was my fault? I was supposed to read this stupid letter; I was supposed to call him

Because of me, we both suffered for nine years? I was the reason for my misery? I hurt him more because he thought I left him? It was my fault that he didn't stay my
friend because I was supposed to call.

"jasmin," he whispered my name. I looked at him with tearful eye, my vision blurred but I looked at him.

"Can I continue?" he asked, kindly.
My eyes flickered a few times and focused on his face. I nodded once. He wiped my tears with the back of his hand and wiped his tears too. He was crying too, but his
tears were not flowing like mine.

As he opened his mouth to say, my doorbell rang. It was the food delivery. I was about to move when he got up.
"Wait, let me collect it." He offered, I nodded again.

My voice was lost and I couldn't say anything.

"Do I have to pay him anything?" he asked.
I shook my head no. I had already paid the amount online while ordering. He left to collect the food. I buried my face in my hands and started sobbing. It was my fault.

The guilt was killing me. I have never hurt anyone until now; I hurt Aly and me. I hurt us from the past nine years. How can I be selfish? I'm such a selfish person. Only if I would have opened it, not assuming it was a breakup letter, if I would have opened it for once, I could have avoided this pain and loneliness.

"Are you ok?" Aly asked as he took me in his arms. I hide my face in my hands.
I felt ashamed to look at him. I'm a bad person.
"im not finished." He whispered.
"T'm sorry," I said in my hoarse voice.
"Shh, relax. It's not your fault. Let me finish." He pulled my hands away from my face and sat beside me and took my hands in his. He looked into my eyes and continued.

"When I reached, I waited for your call, desperately. I carried my father's phone for the whole day. I hoped you would call, but you didn't. I spend days and nights in the hospital with my father holding his phone. I hoped you would call me one day. Each day passed slowly without you; each day felt harder than the last. I missed you, I wanted to call, but I remembered what I wrote. The only reason you didn't call was that you didn't felt the same way as I did.