Being Honest About My Feelings

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Derek's POV

I have to be clever about my next moves because right now she hates me more than ever as i'm hurting the one person closest to her. I turn towards her mum "Follow me" as she stands up i glace over at Susan and see he eyes all puffy and red. "stay there i'll be back" I take Sarah back to her room and grab the first aid box. i look over at her, what have i done?! This isn't me! When i go back to clear the blood up which makes me feel worse. "i'm sorry i did this to you, i'm not this type of person, i don't know what came over me" she looks up to me and i could see how hurt she is. I looked away from her as i couldn't look at her without feeling instant regret. "Derek can i ask you something" i was so shocked, i haven't heard her speak since we took her. i nodded my head for her to continue. "What has my daughter done so wrong to have hurt you" hurt? how did she know i was hurting? I didn't really know how to answer it. Think it's time i start to be honest with someone, think it will do me good. "In all honesty i don't know how to start. So i'll start at the beginning, when my brother Max, first introduced me to Susan i thought she was perfect and so innocent. When she smiles it makes me feel warmth in my cold heart. She's the only person who makes me feel happy and complete. But the longer her and Max were together the less i saw her and when i did she was skittish and freaked out. Max was doing something to her but i didn't know what. I tried to question him about it but he just passed it off by saying she finds me intimidating. I belived him. I belived his filthy lies." I stopped feeling guilty. I could have helped her if i would have known. I looked back at Sarah and she had taers streaming down her face. She loked up at me and cleared her throught. I'm guessing she going to speak. 

Sarah - Susan's mum POV

I sat and took in everything he was saying. He honestly really cares about my daugher. But i didnt quite understand why he was doing what he was doing. "Derek don't blame yourself for something your brother did, you need to be better then he is and not do things like what just happened. Your showing me that you care about my daughter but your showing her that your a evil person, who doesn't care. Why are you doing all this?" He looked away and i could see how hurt he was to do this too my precious Susan. 

Susan's POV

I'm sitting on the bed waiting for Derek to return, what's taking him so long. I really hope he's not hurting my mum. I wanted to go check the door to see if it's open but i was too scared to move incase he came back and caught me out the bed. I waiting and waited and i felt like it had been over an hour already. All the crying and heart ache has made me so tired. I feel myself sliding down the bed and getting ready to drift off to sleep. I layed my head on my pillow and allowed my eyes to drop and fall into a peaceful sleep, where no trouble is, free from heart ache and my misserable life.

Derek's POV

"Derek don't blame yourself for something your brother did, you need to be better then he is and not do things like what just happened. Your showing me that you care about my daughter but your showing her that your a evil person, who doesn't care. Why are you doing all this?" I couldn't help but look away. My reason is stupid. I don't even think it was worth it anymore, she hates me. I start to explain why i helped my brother with his plan to get Susan back. "The reason i helped my brother with this stupid plan was so i could be close to Susan again, those months when she ran away from Max i knew where she was but i held back from my brother knowing for so long but it got to point where he was getting suspicious, i am very good at tracking down people, i would say it's one of my skills but anyway back to the point. Max got obsessed with Susan, to the point that he wanted to hire a bounty hunter on her but i stopped him. I was the one who came up with the idea what happened that night you were both taken. It didn't go the way I planned though, the plan was to wait till Susan got back from work and threaten to hurt you so she'd come with us but that didn't happen, Max abadonded the plan and did his own thing. I never wanted either of you to get hurt" i felt my eyes start to sting with tears on the edge of falling down my cheeks. I wiped my eyes. How could i do this to the person i'm suppose to care most about. This was never my plan, she was suppose to trust and like me but now she hates me. I don't understand how it all happened so quick. 

Sarah - Susan's Mum POV 

He's holding back the main point as to why he allowed it to happen. I was worried to think what Max's big plan is all about. "Derek you need to tell the real reason you helped him, for me to understand" Derek  has never been horrible to me apart from today. When he came to help me  at the house after Max shot me twice in the stomach he was so apologetic. He was so calm and gental with fixing me up and he came and checked on me everyday for the first week to see if i was okay and healing okay. He would tell me how Susan was and if she ever got hurt. The night she slept with Derek for the first night and everything he did that night and in the morning he told me and was so angry and hurt he let Max hurt her like that. He only said the things to annoy and wind his brother up but it all got out of hand and Susan got really hurt. I don't know if i'm crazy but i feel Derek is a good persona nd honestly wants the best for my daughter. Everytime he use to come talk to me about her, he would have a smile on his face but when i noticed he'd turn away.  Derek started to speak bringing me out of my flashbacks and i carried on listening to him, taking in everything he had to say.

Derek's POV

The real reason i brought Susan and her mum here. It's going to sound so stupid but i feel confortable telling Sarah, i don't know why "The real reason i brought Susan and you here is beacuse i thought it was th eonly way i could have Susan near me, it was going so well she sarted to like me and to my suprise she even kisses me without threats or harm coming to her. She did it on her own. That's all ruined now though beacuse she hates me." I feel so upset that she prefers Max to me. i contuined to talk. " I don't even know how my ex knew i was at the bar or how she ended up in my bed but if that never happened then Susan wouldn't hate me right now" Sarah had a confused exspertion on her afce. "Derek your telling me that your ex happened to turn up at the exact same pub as you on the same day and time? That's not possible!" That does make sense, how could she have possiby known i was at the pub. Then it all clicked like a puzzle being solved in my mind. "Max!" That's all i needed to say for her to nod with agreement. That bastard he set me up "But how can i prove to Susan that Max set me up  and i have no feelings for Clair" We sat there in silence, thinking of source of proof. If Max set it up then he would have to contact her to let her kow i'm at the pub. Would he really be stupid enough to contact her on his own phone? Would he have deleted the messages or call log? "Have you thought of anything" Susans mum spoke, "I think so but i dont knwo if he would have deleted the evidence" She smirks "only one way to find out Derek, you can set things right and be true to yourself and Susan" I smiled, why was she being so nice to especially after everything i've done. "Why you being so nice to me, don't you hate me?" She shakes her head, suprisng me and making me frown "Derek ever since i first met you at the house, i knew you weren't being true to yourself. It was all an act to prove to yur brother. Your nothing like him and i think deep down you know that" I looked down to the floor and thought about everything i've ever done just to lease Max, i've had enough i don't want to do shit for him anymore, i want ot live my own life to how i want to live it. Wich is hopefully with Susan if her and her mum forgive me. 

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