Ciel [Yoonmin]

1.

"Are you sure?" He asked in the softest tone. Three words that had been lingering their minds for a long time now.

Both were so inexperienced and naive. They had never done any of this before. They were each other's first kiss, first hug, and first everything.

Jimin's face was flushed with a bright red color. He looked at the man in front of him. God, he adored him with every atom in his body.

The racing thoughts in his mind, the doubts and the fears...they vanished once they locked eyes. His pupils were dilated to the max. They breaths were heavy and soft.

There was this intense lure in the air he could not describe. He thought about the many moments they had laughed. All the times he was there for him supporting his delusional dreams.

And even though he failed, he stayed. He always did. He picked him up without hesitation and without any judgement, he was there.

Jimin nodded his head with a timid smile and a reassuring gaze. "I'm sure. Are you sure?"

He chuckled quietly with rosy cheeks. Though he tried to keep it cool, Jimin could tell he was so nervous. It was obvious. It was an important step in their relationship. Probably the most important one yet.

"I'm sure." He responded while leaning in to plant the sweetest kiss on his lips.

He always kissed him like his lips were made of sugar. He savored every centimeter of his skin worshiping him like he was the sky itself.

Jimin loved being cared for and touched in marvelous ways. He made him feel important and so very loved. With every kiss and every touch he gift wrapped him the world without asking for anything in return.

The first thing that came off were their shirts. It was quite a clumsy action. Jimin's arm got stuck and they both giggled like little kids embarrassed at their own inexperience.

The bashfulness never left the room. It was sitting in the corner causing awkward blushes and unsteady breaths from the two.

This wasn't the first time they were shirtless in front of each other. But it was the first time that they proceeded to further action.

He nibbled on his bottom lip as he reached for the hem of his shorts. "Can—can I?" He stuttered. Jimin smiled, he could see how angry he got at himself for stuttering.

Jimin always loved that.

It was so cute.

"Yes." He responded quietly.

He continued to unbutton his shorts. It was a hot humid afternoon. They happened to have the house to themselves since his parents were both out working.

The only source of cold air was coming through the window air conditioner in the kitchen. It was too expensive to set any others around the house.

Jimin had said that one day they'd have a real house and with real ventilation. His lover only laughed and agreed saying, "Of course we will dumpling. We will have it all."

Their skin was starting to turn into a sticky waterfall. Neither of them minded it. They were too indulged in each other to even mind the burning heat.

The next item that fell on the floor was a pair of boxers. Jimin's heart was a racing rabbit that made his skin crawl. No one had ever seen him nude. And even though he loved him very much, that sinking thought came to mind.

What if I'm not good enough? What if I'm ugly? Without even realizing he was slowly curling into a ball to avoid being seen.

"You're so precious. There's no need to be embarrassed. I love every part of your body. I always have and always will."

It's like he could read his mind. This reassured Jimin and he slowly straightened back up exposing his body. He blushed uncontrollably as his eyes scanned him form head to town.

He smiled lovingly and removed his own undergarment. Jimin nervously bit his lip as he slowly ran his fingers through his thighs.

This was love. It had to be. Jimin was convinced of this more than anything in the world. He wasn't sure of what the next day would hold. Hell, he wasn't even sure of what he had for dinner the night before.

But this, he was sure of. As indecisive as Jimin was, he was so sure of their love. That's one thing he had never doubted.

As they continued exploring the unknown, they soon forgot about all their insecurities. There was only love and acceptance.

When it ended they laid in bed panting while attempting to catch their breaths. They looked at each other still with bright smiles.

"I love you." He said.

"Me too." Jimin responded while resting his head on his bare chest.

This was love. Even if they were only sixteen, Jimin was sure of it.

A loud groan snapped Jimin back to reality. The man that was on top of him rolled over on the bed. He kept his eyes shut while the rush of his climax ended. Seconds later, he pulled off the condom while tying a knot. He threw it on the nightstand bed beside Jimin.

"You were wonderful like always." He told sitting on the corner of the bed.

"Good. You were wonderful as well. I hope I see you again." Jimin responded getting up himself. He had this trained smile on his face to show satisfaction.

It was never easy. Although, this was a regular client for Jimin it was never easy. The blonde hunk wiped the sweat off his face and grinned.

It's not like he wasn't attractive. He was, very attractive in all honesty. He did get aroused with him, but the thing was there was no emotional connection.

After the sex was done he felt empty and numb. The arousal only lasted but so long. It was after that was the hardest for him.

"Bye. See you soon." He winked.

Jimin smirked and nodded, but as soon as the door shut behind his smile disappeared. He stared at his reflection in the mirror as he softly rubbed the purple marks on his neck.

It looked like he had gotten horrendously beaten. Jackson, one of the few regulars, had this serious choking kink.

Jimin was used to it of course. However, the aftermath was something he wasn't used to at all. He sighed wrapping a thick black ribbon around his neck to hide the marks. He still had a dance show and showing the marks like that wouldn't look good.

As he brushed his messy hair to fix it a sweet memory came to mind. His lover used to brush his hair and play with it. He'd put flowers and clips to style it to his preference.

This made Jimin smile. Genially smile because his lover had been his first everything. It made him happy to know that he hadn't given something so sacred to just anyone.

At least Jimin could comfort himself in knowing that.

•••

hey loves <3 thank you for reading. so, a lot went on huh? this is going to be a very angsty ff. there's going to be lots of fowl language and mentions of scenarios that aren't going to be pretty. i do want to make the disclaimer that this is strictly fiction. the characters in my story are NOT how they are in real life. they are described this way solely for the purpose of the story. if you're not into really angsty ff then this might not be your story ;o but if you are buckle down for a bumpy roller coaster ride. i will continue to post on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays due to my work schedule. thanks for your patience and i appreciate feedback! sending you all hugs and kisses <3