The New World

Chapter 13

The two were back inside, Jim was by the fireplace that he lit with a blanket wrapped around him while Turg sat next to him. The two were mostly silent while Jim just stared into the fire and Turg fidgeted with his hands. Eventually Turg broke the silence by asking Jim "Does Jim want to talk?"
"Talk about what?" Jim asked Turg in response as he then shifted his glance to Turg. 
"What is hurting Jim." Turg answered with a slight smile. Jim then stared back at the fire and said "I don't know if you want to hear it."
"Turg thinks Jim will feel better after." Turg then told Jim as he placed his hand on Jim's. Jim immediately jerked his hand away and said again "You don't want to know what I have going on, trust me." 
"But Turg does. Turg won't be mean." Turg said again, he wanted to help Jim. Jim took a deep breath and responded "Fine, but it's a very long story." 
Jim then glared into the fire and began with "It all started when I was a child so many years ago. As much as I hate to admit it, my father was a lot like me. A killer with a gigantic ego, bigger than mine back before doomsday. He was terrible and has never been there for me yet he keeps coming back begging for my help, and I help him every time." 
"Is that who Jim saw?" Turg asked Jim as Jim tightened the blanket around him. Jim answered "Yes, that's who I saw."
"Jim was afraid of what Jim saw." Turg then said as Jim immediately responded "But he's dead though, I know this because I witnessed it."
"Turg sorry." Turg told Jim as Jim accidentally burned a bit of the blanket with his hands. He then stood up and shook his hands a bit while saying "Don't be, I was the one who killed him." 
Turg didn't say anything else, instead he remained on the floor and looked up at Jim as he started pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace. 
"I've been alive for so long I have literally lost track of my age, that's even if I aged. So much has happened throughout my life, both good and bad. I've been able to repress all the bad but it seems to be all coming back to me." Jim started rambling while pacing around with Turg listening. Jim then continued with "I can't sleep it off anymore because I keep seeing him in my dreams. My son or whatever, the one who turned into a demon and is the reason why doomsday happened, keeps showing up in my dreams to either torture me or make me relive that day." 
Turg continued to listen but with a worried look on his face, he was worried about Jim. 
"I saw him again, he turned into my father and made me see things that weren't there. He also said things that are true as much as I hate to admit it." Jim continued before he paused and started thinking. He had several thoughts racing through his mind and he couldn't keep up with them. Eventually he turned to face Turg, who was still sitting on the floor, and said with wide eyes "I'm a terrible person."
"Jim is not." Turg responded as Jim started pacing around again. 
"I would pretend to love people just to kill them and take their money, I opened restaurants that served actual poison, I neglected most of my children, I locked people inside a bar only for them all to die by my hands, I got my child addicted to drugs, and I even started a gang war. That's not everything, only what I can list off the top of my head." Jim started explaining to Turg, who was becoming very concerned. Jim then continued "And every time I try to do something good I either get killed, lose someone, or start an apocalypse. It's as if I am not meant to do good in this world."
"Did Jim cause doomsday?" Turg asked. Jim then stopped again and put his hand on his other arm. He then answered "I'm going to stop lying to myself and just admit it. It is all my fault."
Turg then looked away from Jim, he didn't know what to think. Jim then added "But I did it to get rid of those demons that I summoned in the first place, but it didn't seem to work. I don't know why I even bother, every attempt at doing something good has failed horribly." 
Turg was now refusing to look at Jim as Jim realized that he likely killed him and his family. He then said "You're allowed to hate me and I can leave if I make you feel unsafe, but I am being honest about who I am now." 
"Don't go." Turg told Jim, though he was still refusing to look at Jim. Jim then asked "Why? I hurt you and it could happen again, why do you still like me enough to want me around?"
"Turg knows Jim didn't mean to. Turg want to help." Turg answered as he looked back up at Jim again. 
"What else can you possibly help me with?" Jim asked Turg again. Turg then asked Jim "Does Jim miss someone?"
"I do miss someone, a lot." Jim answered before adding "My husband of sorts, Grim. I haven't seen them in months and our last interaction wasn't exactly the greatest." 
Turg then looked away again, he was confused and was thinking. Jim then said "That doesn't matter now, they'll show up eventually." 
"How does Jim feel now?" Turg asked Jim as he then stood up. Jim started pacing again and rambled "I feel worse now that you know about everything. I shouldn't have said anything, you're not my therapist because he died years ago. I normally resort to just talking to myself whenever something is wrong, but it hasn't solved anything that I can recall. I would go back to bed but I am afraid of my own child."
He then stopped to cover his face with his hands and said while being slightly muffled "I am a mess, a shadow of my former self. I used to be great, now I live in shipping containers with you." 
Turg then put his hands on both of Jim's shoulders as Jim took his hands off his face. Turg looked into Jim's eyes and said "Jim needs this."
Turg then pulled Jim closer and hugged him. At first Jim was going to deny it but instead he embraced it. Jim then hugged Turg back and was fighting to hold back tears. Turg was right, he did need it. 
"Turg still cares about Jim." Turg told Jim, who was starting to cry while responding with "And I care about you, I'm sorry I hurt you. I promise it won't happen again."