𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 |𝟏𝟖+

32 || Failure

Edited: 10.28.2022

Somg: Rihanna ft Future - love song (slowed + reverb)

𝔚𝔚𝔚
Giana

I failed.

I studied for weeks, spent countless hours reading over the material, did practise tests yet I still failed my calculus test.

I look down at the big fat D on the paper and more tears pour out of my eyes.

I fucking failed.

I crumple the paper for the millionth time, only this time I stash it in the back of my closet, away from anyone's eyes.

I wasn't going to show anyone. I wasn't going to tell anyone. Even though I had spent the last two hours crying about it in my room, I was going to forget about it and act like it simply didn't happen.

But seriously? I worked so hard and I was certain I knew all the material.

It was all so humiliating. When my teacher first handed it to me, I smiled up at him like a giddy little girl and when I caught sight of the paper, I had to stop myself from losing it right there.

However the shame and self pity wasn't the worst part. It was the fact that I had people counting on me. Marco was probably looking forward to seeing at least a B and I had let him down.

I'd been in denial for so long but this just proved what I'd been scared to admit all along.

I was dumb.

The thought brings even more tears to my eyes and when I look down to mamá's bracelet on my wrist, I cry even harder.

I'm such a disappointment and I couldn't hide this from her, she's probably up there frowning down at me right now.

The shame eventually gets too much for me to handle so much so that I can't stand to be alone with myself anymore, I fall back on something I know won't end well.

I walk down the hall to Alessio's room.

I hadn't seen much of him all day and although I was partly avoiding him on purpose, I needed someone. I sigh in relief when I see him sitting on the sofa on the other side of his bedroom, near the fireplace and wet bar.

The fire is on and he's currently talking on the phone.

I knew from the way in which he was speaking it was someone important, plus he wasn't yelling. He was trying to remain as clam as possible, yet the poor file in his hand was slowly crumpling with the way his hand was balling into a fist.

I hesitantly take a step into the room, trying to make it seem like I'm going unnoticed, but can't even bring myself to do that properly seeing as I'm the biggest attention whore I know.

The thought brings a new set of tears to my eyes.

Its as though he senses my presence as I approach him because he leans forward sets the file on the table near him and holds a hand up for me, the universal 'wait' signal.

I ignore it and walk closer, until he glances up, his eyes briefly scanning my face before he does a double take.

He sits up, alarmed as he swiftly ends the call, promising to resume the conversation later, the action satisfying the attention whore inside me.