Humans (Chuuya Nakahara x reader)

14: Paradox

After we had arrived back at the headquarters, I waited outside the doctor's room. For some reason, I felt strange. I felt guilty and sorry but at the same time I felt empty inside.

"Don't be upset" Mori smiled at me. "Knowing him, he will be alright" he added.

Was I upset? I don't know these people well enough for me to care about them. However, for some reason I felt different this time. "Why did you ask me to go on the mission?" I asked with a blank expression. The silence in the room was adding to the tension. He cleared his throat. "You have to start working for the Port Mafia and gain experience if you want to improve" he said.

His words bothered me. I might have been living in seclusion, but I am not a fool. I know that he is using me for my ability and trying to gain from it. I'm starting to question whether I will ever find whoever killed my parents.

I walked past Mori and made my way to my room. I wanted to be alone. It's the only time I felt safe.

---

After a while, I heard a knock on my door. I went to open the door.

Who was this?

"You're Chuuya's subordinate? " the guy in front of me asked. What was subordinate supposed to mean? A helper? A side character? Someone of less value?

I silently nodded.

"He is available for visits. I know it can be tough to see your mentor get hurt" he said. "I heard he has been training you well" he added. I took a step back.

Humans. They will forever disgust me.

His facial expressions didn't match his words. It is typical for people to put on an act. In fact, I think humans are incapable of being honest. White lies, they call them. Is that supposed to make everything good? Acceptable? It is ok to lie as long as it is a white lie right? But what is a white lie? Where do you cross the line? Have I ever told a white lie? What makes a person a bad person? The act of lying or not being honest?

I slowly backed away before breaking eye contact. I didn't say anything back and closed the door. I did not want to engage with anyone. I have dealt with enough today.

---

It was time for me to sleep. I was feeling lightheaded due to all the events of today.

I wanted to go to the bathroom before going to bed.

As I made my way down the hall, I walked past the doctor's room. I hesitated before walking past it. This was none of my concern. These people mean nothing to me. I do not care about their well being.

No. I should not care about them.

As I made my way back from the bathroom, I heard a loud thud. It made me jump. Unsure of what it might be, I continued to walk down the hall when I heard more noise.

The doctor's room.

The noise came from there. I should not look. It is non of my concern.

As I resisted the urge to go look, I heard a loud bang. I let out a scream. It took me by surprise. Somehow it got quiet immediately afterwards. I stood in front of the door. My hands were shaking as I slowly placed my fingers on the doorknob before twisting it and opening the door.

I was shocked to see the sight in front of me. Chuuya, sitting on the floor. His entire lower abdomen was covered in bandages. His eyes were closed. I don't think he noticed me coming in. I scanned the room to see that a lot of objects were laying on the floor. I tip toed my way over to him.

I hesitated before opening my mouth. "Are you alright?" I managed to ask. He looked up at me. "Y/n" he said. "Are you the one who screamed?" he asked. I nodded. "Why are all these things on the floor?" I asked. He looked away. "I tried to get up" he said. "But I couldn't" he said. I looked at his side injury. "What do you need?" I asked. He looked at me confused. "What do I need?" he asked back. "I'll get it for you" I said. "Oh" he simply answered back. "I.. needed the restroom" he spoke.

Why did I feel this way? Why do I somehow care so much? He shouldn't mean anything to me. He is human. For some reason I couldn't think straight anymore. My feelings were all over the place. Did I just feel bad because he is in a vulnerable position?

No, that is not it.

He had already closed his eyes by the time I was done thinking. I grabbed his arm and helped him get up. "I'll take you to the restroom" I said. His face turned a bright shade of red. "N-No you don't have to do that.. I'm alright" he panicked. Why was he acting this way? Shame? Is that the expression on his face? "But you needed the restroom" I bluntly said back. "I don't anymore" he said. I tilted my head to the side. "Huh?" I said confused. "You can help me get back to bed" he said. I nodded and guided him to the door.

"W-What are you doing?" he asked startled. "Taking you to the restroom" I said. He didn't argue back this time. I guided him to the restroom. I opened the door for him. "You know.. you don't  have to come inside" he scratched the back of his neck. "But how will you-" I started but he cut me off. "Don't worry about it. I'll be fine" he said. I waited for him outside.

After he came outside of the restroom, I helped him back to his bed. "Thank you" he said as he placed his head on his pillow. "You're welco-" I started but stopped. What was I doing? Why was I helping him? I felt weird. Me? Helping humans? Why would I ever do that? However, he has helped me with training. But then again, he does not care about me, he is just doing his job.

He gave me a puzzled look. "Are you ok?" he asked. "Yes" I answered back.

"Rest well" I said before leaving.