The things I did

Hard Pill to Swallow

You arrive back at Sarah and Holland's and walk through the front door to find everyone still gathered in the living room. You take a sip of your shake as you stand in front of everyone.

"How's your ice cream?" Becky asks, certainly jealous that you did not bring her some back.

"Good, you want the rest?" You ask as you begin to hand Becky your milkshake.

No one reacts to what you're doing. You walk over to Becky and give her your milkshake, leaving her to sit there confused by your actions.

Everyone watches as you make your way back upstairs to your room, where you continue to watch Futurama and eat your Doritos. As soon as everyone hears your door close, Becky breaks the silence.

"There has to be something going on. She would never just give up ice cream like that" Becky says as she holds your milkshake in her hand.

Sarah let's out a sigh as she looks at Holland. Holland places her hand on Sarah's, telling her to go check on you. Sarah gets up from the couch and makes her way up to your room.

Sarah has seen this behavior before from you and it happened right before you slipped into a state of depression. She knows those two years of depression were hard on you and she doesn't want that to happen again.

     "(Y/N)...." Sarah says as she slowly opens your door.

     You look over at the door and see Sarah peaking her head through the door. You wave at Sarah, telling her to come in. Sarah slowly walks in your room and closes the door behind her. She makes her way over to your bed and takes a seat next to you before breaking the silence.

     "What's going on?" Sarah asks, with a calm, empathetic voice.

     You crack at the sound of Sarah's voice. You quickly bring your hands up to your face to hide your emotions. You couldn't keep your feelings suppressed anymore, your heart was completely broken and you couldn't hide it anymore.

     Sarah scooches herself closer to you so she can comfort you. She wraps her arms around you and pulls you into her, allowing your head to rest in her chest as you cry. You keep your hands on your face as you continue to cry. Sarah leans her head on your head and occasionally kisses the top of your head.

     Sarah let's you cry until you begin to calm down. As she hears your sobs begin to slow, she breaks the silence.

     "(Y/N), please talk to me" Sarah begs as she continues to hold you close to her.

     You move your hands from your face, "She hurt me so badly."

     Sarah holds you even tighter. It breaks her heart to see you hurting like this.

     "I'm worried about you, (Y/N). I need you to be honest with me" Sarah says as she continues to hold you.

     Opening up to someone wasn't the easiest thing for you to do, but with Sarah it was different.

     "I felt my heart shatter when she said she wanted to be friends. How could she do that after everything we've been through?" You say between sniffles.

     "I'm sorry, (Y/N). I wish I could do something but I know I can't. I know this sucks and it hurts, but I'm here for you always."

     "I just want to stay up here for the rest of the night. I don't have the energy to socialize right now" you say as you pick yourself up from Sarah's chest.

     "I'll be joining you then. I'm not leaving you alone" Sarah says as she watches you lean up.

     No matter how bad you may have wanted to be alone, you knew Sarah wasn't going to leave you no matter how hard you tried. You watch Sarah get up from your bed and exit your room.