The Surrogate

18- Inner conflicts

"Momma, are you coming back with us now? Is your work done?" Yun asked, excitement clearly visible in his eyes as he straddled your lap still still cuddled in your arms.

You looked down to his big does eyes that stared back at you shining with hope, it crushed your heart that to say that-

"No baby, Not yet but promise I will come back soon" The wide smile was instantly replaced by a pout, in a sec you could see his whole face losing it's light. "Baby don't be sad okay? Or it will be hard for mommy to leave you" You softly pecked his cheeks.

Like the good boy he was, he instantly hugged you pecking your nose." No no I am not sad, I am happy I know Mommy works hard for yun"

You could clearly see he was forcing a smile, he was a 5 year old kid. The fact that he was so understanding and was trying to hide his pain and sadness of being away from his mother so just that she doesn't feel guilty made you even more guilty.

You glanced at Lilly who was driving. She also gave Yun a look of pity because there was nothing else she could do. She didn't just feel bad for Yun but also for you, because she has seen you struggling with everything better than anyone else . Being a single mother at 24 when you have no proper education, no college, no degree, no stable job.

But still working so hard, spending 15 hrs a day doing any job you could get, handling a kid struggling with your expenses all alone. She was proud of you and of the things you were doing.

"So where should we go first? Let's buy him food first, even I feel hungry." You said to Lilly still talking to Yun who was blabbering about everything he had done today. Lilly hummed in response.

"maam said I am such a smart kid! I recited the countings you taught me and no one else in class could" He excitedly clapped his hands smiling.

"Ofc! My baby is the smartest! Did she teach something new ?" You asked and he again began telling you about the words his teacher taught him to write and also the numbers from 10-20 which you hadn't before.

Being illiterate, having no proper job made you realise the importance of education better than anyone else. You always paid attention to Yun's studies, although he was just 5, there wasn't much but still you made sure that he enjoyed studying . And he was actually a really smart kid for his age, you always taught him ahead of his classes and not once did he complain. School was the only thing Lilly paid for, in what you earnt you would never be able to send him to a good school so Lilly volunteered his education, you couldn't decline. As much as you didn't want any more favours from her, Yun's education was something you couldn't compromise with.

.........................................................

"Okk So one burger for Yun and Y/n, What about you Jess?" Lilly asked who was standing as she was about to order.

"Uhmm I will have a pizza? Me and Yun can share. He really likes it" Yun nodded happily at the mention of his favourite food.

'okk then" Lilly turned and left while the three of you sat enjoying your drinks.

"Aaaaaaa" Yun held his piece of pizza in front of your mouth just like you did when you fed him. You opened your mouth taking a bite making him squeal in happiness.

"I fed you Momma, just like you do seee" He chimed. You nodded smiling fondly at the small human who meant the world to you.

"Ayy I also want! This is not fair!!" Jess huffed from the other side of the table.

"No You have yours, I will only feed Momma " Yun smiled cheekily.

"Haahhh! this is so unfair, I always feed you na? So I should also get to eat from your hand" Jess pouted making a sad face.