BTS stepbrothers - mafia

59. Sickbed

It has been 2,5 weeks since we've left the hospital.

Everyone has been driving up and down to Jimin to see if he has woken up from his medically induced coma. Yoongi is the only one who hasn't returned home yet since Jimin was admitted into the hospital, Yoongi kept by his side.

Me and Jungkook were the only ones that haven't visited Jimin yet since the day we've left. Jungkook wanted to stay besides me the whole time as he thought I would do something stupid if someone wasn't watching me. I on the other hand haven't closed my eyes for more then 20 hours these last few weeks, as I couldn't make myself fall asleep.

A murderer doesn't deserve to sleep peacefully.

I've just felt bad, miserable.

The guys have tried to comfort me, and I mean tried as in their 'I don't really care or know how to comfort someone but it's better then hearing you sob for 2 whole weeks straight and we do worry but don't like to tell you' kind of way. So yeah, that was great I guess.

At least I've slept a little, not to my liking, even tho it was dearly appreciated by me but I didn't tell them that as they literally let Jungkook rock me to sleep in my bedroom until I fell asleep for like 2 hours and woke up with a shaking and sweating body.

I just can't sleep because all I see is Mr Lee hunting me.

I'm still surprised they haven't given up on me now that I'm a mess, so points for that to them I guess?

I mean they did take away the blade from me that I had in my bandage as soon as we came home from the hospital for 'safety reasons' and even Hoseok has looked out for me by making me some hot choco.

Anyways these 2,5 weeks have passed by slowly and I mean slowly. Jimin hasn't woken up, the brother I can stand the most hasn't left Jimin's side and I've been afraid that the ghost of Mr Lee will try to hunt me down and will kill me once I close my eyes. So yeah what a pleasurable 2,5 weeks it was.

Right now everyone, excluding Yoongi and Jimin, were sitting in the van on our way to the hospital, mine and Jungkook's first time leaving my apartment again since the death of Mr Kim, Mr Lee, Chen, Beoksong and many more.

Namjoon and Seokjin have gone back to the sight where all the murders happened. They kept up with all the reports that the police made. In the reports they indeed saw the dead bodies of Mr Kim, Mr Lee, Chen and Beoksong and they made sure their bodies were safely in the mortuary, meaning everyone is officially dead.

Although they've done miserable things to people, I don't think Chen deserved to die at such a young age. He had a chance to change for the better but his life ended too soon.

But I haven't really thought about his death too much, I've been too busy thinking about what I've done, what I've become.

A murderer doesn't deserve to walk around freely, at least not me. Well if you think about it, I can't really walk freely around this world as I have these 7 boys that call themselves human beings, but let set that apart, I just don't belong in this free world.

All that was running through my head all day long for the last few weeks was about how bad of a person I am. That I'm a murderer, that I shouldn't have the right to walk freely around this world. But worse of all, I keep seeing the ghost of Mr Lee with everything I do. I see him in my room, I see him in standing in my apartment and even in my bathroom, I see him everywhere I go.

I disgusted the Kims for the persons they are, because they are murderers but now I am one too, I'm no better then they are.

Everyone else in the car was feeling free and partially happy. They were happy about the fact that Mr Kim and Mr Lee were both dead, finally giving them freedom for the first time in their lives. All what was stopping them now is Jimin, who's still in the hospital.