There's Something Holdin' Me Back

Letter 17

"I'm sorry, but it's your fault."

• Hayden's POV •

"Hayden" I can hear Brittany calling my name.

I didn't stop, I kept walking. She increased her pace and held my hand.

"Please listen to me!" She cried.

"Everyone thinks it's my fault, but I know you don't . I know you will understand me." She said sobbing then forcing herself in my arms. Her head was on my chest and both her hands snaked behind my waist. As she holds me tightly. My hands rested on both of my sides.

"You know, I'm sorry. I saw you three leaving the hotel so I ran towards you all. I wanted to go with you all. That's when I forgot about him. Do you really think it's my fault??? I thought he could swim, they should have told me. It's not my fault Hayden. I'm so sorry. " She cried more.

Would it be bad, if I just push her in the pool right now?

I held her arms separating her from me. She tightened her arms around me, not letting me go. I held my hands more tightly around hers, trying to get her away from me. She didn't let me but when she was finally away from me. My eyes met hers.

Looking straight into her teary eyes I said.

"Listen, you know what, it's fine. People make mistakes all the time, even though what you did was a crime still if you've done something wrong own up to it, rather than blaming everyone you see. That's how you earn respect and forgiveness. But you're just here like 'i'm sorry but it's your fault'. Thats not how it works." I let out a fake laugh in anger.

She didn't respond she stared at me like this is not what she expected to hear from me.

"Come to me, when you realize where you went wrong, and not where others went wrong." I replied before turning around to leave.

I felt a grip on my forearm that made me stop and turn around.

"Hayden, you're not even trying to understand me!" She clamored for attention.

I let out another sarcastic laugh. She's making me angrier than I'm already am.

"Seriously? Please explain to me then? That Hayden, I almost killed a kid, But it's not my fault it's the kid's fault that he decided to drown? Is this what you mean? You want me to pity you and forgive you? You really got the audacity huh?"

"No no no that's not what I'm saying, it's just that.." she shutters like she's trying to think of the right words to say.

"Just that I'm always right, and everyone else around me is wrong. Right? Okay, let it be that way if that helps you to sleep at night."

I said before turning around to leave.

She hugged me from behind. Her hands are tight around my waist as she rests her face on my back.

"Hayden, please listen to me. It was just an accident. Can you go on a walk with me? Everyone has been blaming me. My own dad yelled at me I feel so sad, please go with me. I'll explain everything there." She mumbled.

I held her hands getting them off of me. I turned towards her looking straight into her eyes. I simply told her.

"No, I can't go a walk with you, or anywhere. I need some space. I hope you can give that to me. I don't want to be anywhere near you, till my mind allows me to. I don't want to do something I would regret later. So please let's keep our distance from now on." I said it as politely as I can.

All the colors were draining from her face, but that didn't stop me from walking off.

I turned the knob of my room.

Piper and Jake were cuddled up on his side of the bed.

No, I'm not surprised this is not the first time I've walked up on them being all cozy and snuggly that only last till they're sleeping, once they wake up they're like "ew get off of me ass" that's like a never-ending cycle.

I let them sleep. They've been up all night with me.

I walked on my tiptoe took out some clothes, toothbrush and left to my sisters and Piper's temporary room trying not to disturb them.

I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth before heading to the gym.

I put on my AirPods as I held both of my hands on the pull-up bar and began to stretch.

I don't know how long I've been doing that. But when I landed on my feet. I was sweating like a pig.

I headed towards the treadmill and ran for a bit. When I got off I almost flinched away.

Brittany stood there looking at me. She was in her gym wear too.

"Hey, don't think I'm stalking you or something. I didn't know you would be here." She said softly before grinning at me.

How can people go back to acting like nothing has happened? I would love to learn that someday.

I didn't bother replying to her I just moved past her to where the Lat Pulldown was.

I continued my gym without looking at Brittany.

Finally when I was done.

I was about to leave when the staff girl bumped into me, the towels she held, fell all over. I kneeled helping her pick them up.

Before we could pick all of them, someone poured the water all over the girl in front of me.

The horror took over her face.
------------------------------------------------------
Last part of the hospital series.

Thankyou for staying tuned.

Sending virtual hugs!!!