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Thor's Nine A. M. Bad For The Press Bar Crawl >> Drunk!Thor Odinson X Reader

Title: Thor's Nine A. M. Bad For The Press Bar Crawl

Paring: Drunk!Thor Odinson X Reader

Warnings: alcohol

Spoilers: none

A/N: based loosely from the SNL video, mainly drabble.

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It was a strange day; you worked this out as soon as you woke, finding the bed was empty even though it was only 9am, and by midday with no sign of where he'd gotten to, you asked the other Avengers where your boyfriend, the blonde Demi-God had gone to. But it seemed nobody knew - bar J.A.R.V.I.S, who had tracked Thor by his S.H.I.E.L.D authorised credit card to a string of bars in Manhatten.

A bar.

If that didn't sound completely and utterly stupid to you - Tony Stark owned more alcohol than any New York club, he boasted that often enough at parties and S.H.I.E.L.D debreifings - then you didn't know what would. What would have gotten him to drink? He could hold liquor almost as well as Steve (this was found out at a drinking contest at 2am one moring when Clint and newbie Pietro made bets as to who could last longest...leaving Cap standing unaffected by any of it, and Thor under the table, reciting odes of Asgard)...

But why?

Dressed and ready to fetch your surely smashed boyfriend, you stopped when Nat called out, "_______, you're going to want to see this," she sang.

"Yeah, c'mon, it's - no, it's Thor! On TV!" Clint laughed, "Oh man, you've got to see!"

You almost gave Wanda's brother a run for his money in dashing to Tony's plasma screen, and gasped. On the ginormous screen was a crowd, all cheering, and a staggeringly drunk Thor looking straight to the camera, singing a segment of Queen's We Are The Champions, acting like a complete weirdo.

"I've got to go get him..." you blushed, rubbing your face. There was no way you could make it to where he was at before he said more stupid things, "Oh -,"

"I'll fly you there," Tony offered.

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You stormed through the melee, doing your best to see through the crowd Tony was breaking up by simply walking through and saying, "Sorry, I'm Iron Man, have a nice day," over and over again to the citizens. As cocky as it was, it worked, and almost as soon as you reached where the reporter and Thor stood - why was he angry at his ex-girlfriend Jane? That was old news - he saw you at once.

"Lady ______, you have appeared!" He grinned, his drunk voice much different to what you usually heard from the gentle blond giant. "Come, drink with me!"

"No, Thor, you're coming back to the tower with me," you shook your head slowly, doing your best to ignore the growing chant of boo! "You're kind of embaressing yourself. C'mon, you're drunk."

"How dare - drunk!" he slurred, walking toward you. "I am no -,"

You felt a breeze as a voice spoke beside you, "Um, yeah, you kind of are, Shakespeare." You didn't need to look to see it was Pietro who had picked up most of Tony's slang, and within seconds after you nodded to Stark, he had slung Thor over a shoulder and rocketed away as fast as possible - for a robot suit carrying 600 odd pounds - and Pietro whisked you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes (you were glad nobody could see you in it as he were too fast) and the four of you were back at the tower.

"What was that, cupcake!" Tony growled, "We just saved the goddamned world and you -,"

"Take a time out, Stark, I've got this one," you sighed. "You too Pietro." The silence Thor held as the boys walked down the fire escape to the floors below. You didn't turnt to your boyfriend to see the puppydog eyes. "Okay, Thor, I get it. You defeat a new threat with a team of superheroes and go out to get a drink. But talking to reporters? Even Bruce doesn't do that! I mean, I get you miss your brother, and you and Jane ended, but that was a long time ago! Just - tell me why."

You turned to see Thor crying silently.

"I do not know, Lady ______," he sniffed, "It all happened very fast, and I do not mean most of what I spoke. I am sorry if I offended -,"

You shrugged. "Offended? Not really. But embarressed sounds a little more like it. The Avengers are a professional team of individuals skilled to take care of disasters, not make them." You paused, moving forward to envelop Thor as well as you could around his broad shoulders in a hug in an attempt to stop him from crying, "Pepper's going to need to issue a public apology now. Maybe even have S.H.I.E.L.D. put in a good word with the media to keep this one as quiet as possible."

"Lady ______, I promise on the Allfather's throne, I will not ever do a thing like this again," Thor sniffled.

"I wouldn't think of you as both a roudy and an emotional drunk, Thor," You chuckled, kissing his brow, "But anyways, I take your promise seriously. I mean - I love you."

You heard a wild laugh eminate from the tower's pole above both yours and Thor's head to see Clint and Sam in their nest, faces wide with big smiles.

Rolling your eyes, you heard Thor whisper, "Ignore them, dear ______, for I love you also." And take you in for a deep kiss (at which the pair of birds shouted and promptly left you and Thor on the roof to your own business).