LET'S PISS OFF THE NEIGHBOURS

33 | regrets

Seeing Taehyung again wasn't as scary as Jungkook imagined it to be. He made up so many scenarios in his head and worried himself to death about how he was going to react, which in the end proved itself to be the complete opposite.

Well of course, nothing could deny the way his heart was beating rapidly in his chest and how numb the tips of his fingers felt as he reached for the door handle, but it all faltered once he was met with a pair of strong arms hugging him close. It was as if Jungkook was stripped of all his emotions the moment he felt his touch.

What once created butterflies in the pit of his stomach and goosebumps at the top of his skin, now made him feel nothing. Empty.

"I'm so glad you're okay, I was so worried. You just disappeared without a word! You can't do that to me Jungkook, why do you think I spammed your phone so much the other day?" Taehyung looked at him after pulling away to see why he was so unresponsive, but Jungkook was looking through him.

No getting lost in his eyes, no shy smile that always looked so beautiful on him and no more long, double takes to admire his features like he usually would. He wasn't looking at him anymore like he was the only person in the world that mattered.

The older noticed this and slowly let go, the corners of his mouth falling downwards into a small frown.

"Is.. everything alright?" Guilt spilled off of his tongue unconsciously and stung his heart every time he spoke, his fake perception of reality blurring what was right in front of him, or rather, who. A person with feelings that he has so selfishly and naively hurt.

Jungkook silently shrugged and brushed past him without a single word, finally realising and coming to terms with the fact that all of his stupid mistakes have consequences that he can not deal with anymore on his own. He bit off more than he could chew when agreeing to let his heart take over (again) and now he was learning it the hard way. So he chose to stay silent, to not dig an even deeper hole underneath his feet than he already was in.

But as much as we want something to go our way, fate always has its own ways to twist our lives whether we want it or not; and sometimes there is nothing we can do about it.

"Jungkook." He felt himself getting tugged back despite really wanting to just keep walking forward. Once he was facing the one that kept pulling him back, he closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath.

"Please talk to me—"

"There is nothing to talk about. Let me go." He was looking to the side, trying to ignore the way his large hand was holding onto his tiny waist, as if scared that if he lets go; it would be too late.

"Jungkook please.. I can see something is up." He held him tighter, feeling pathetic trying to hold on for dear life to the only thing that supposedly kept him sane.

"I wanted to talk to you before Taehyung, really.. begged even for you to respond to me, to say anything but you- you didn't want to and always ignored me, so why should I be the one that has to explain myself?" He started off quietly, trying to keep his composure but slowly letting go as he just couldn't keep it in any longer.

"You really think that you can play around with my emotions however you please and just drop me the minute something goes wrong? You KNOW I have feelings for you and you used it to your own advantage."

Taehyung's breath hitched at that, but it went unnoticed by the younger who was too focused on making his point across.

"I fucking told you that I love you and the first thing you did after that was go and fuck someone behind my back because what? Your massive ego wouldn't let you admit that you feel something too! And now?" Jungkook scoffed, his face all red from not catching a breath in between any word as he just poured all of his emotions onto the older all at once.

He stepped back, forcing the hand that held him previously to fall down hesitantly as Taehyung stared at him bewildered. It was a lot to take in, but it didn't look like the younger was finishing anytime soon.

"Instead of apologising and acknowledging that YOU did something wrong, you want ME to tell you how YOU feel and how YOU fucked up because you can't admit that either!! So please.. just cut the bullshit and stop acting like I owe you an explanation." Jungkook jabbed a finger at his chest with every "you" before also letting his arms fall down, digging his nails into his palms as he squeezed fists at his sides. He waited for his reaction despite wanting to run away and just forget all about it.

Of course he still cared and wanted more than anything to fix this, but in this moment he had no space left in him for forgiveness and definitely needed time to figure everything out before he could potentially give him, yet another, chance.

He had to stand his ground for once because if he let everyone keep walking all over him, things like this would just keep happening over and over again without an end. He needed to put an end to this or otherwise nothing would change. This was his last chance to make a difference and hopefully patch things up between the two if, of course, Taehyung made an effort to listen to him and admit to his mistakes.

But, as usual, Taehyung was unsurprisingly fast to defend himself. Even if he felt bad he still couldn't come to terms with how he really felt let alone admit it out loud because then — then it would mean that it was real.

"We were just fucking around, I didn't think you would take it so seriously. Why does it matter so much if I slept with someone else? You seriously can't tell me that this is why you're mad at me I– we're not even dating!"

Jungkook felt the familiar pang in his chest once again, he ignored it though because if he showed weakness, all of this would be in vain. "Are you fucking kidding me? You think I don't know that? That's not the fucking point I'm trying to make here Taehyung. You're literally proving what I just said, you can't even take criticism without trying to turn all of this around onto me!"

He wanted to scream and cry from frustration because this conversation was going nowhere. The older had his head so far up his own ass, that he didn't even acknowledge that the boy in front of him was basically confessing his own feelings towards him and trying so hard to make him realise that he could fix this — only if he just admitted that he feels the same, this would have been so much easier.

Taehyung didn't know what to say. At this point he was spewing bullshit just to keep up the lie he was living in. He would rather make himself look like an idiot than just admit that he's done something wrong. His stubbornness and constant lies are something he has struggled with his whole life and sometimes he can't control the things that he says before it's too late. Especially when under pressure.

"I'm not trying to turn this around onto you. I'm just sayin' we were only friends with benefits, y'know.. nothing more than that." He shrugged, but the moment he let those words out of his mouth he regretted it immediately.

So when Jungkook shoved him aside with a loud scoff and a weak, broken "fuck you" before disappearing behind their bedroom door, Taehyung knew he fucked up. Badly.

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