LET'S PISS OFF THE NEIGHBOURS

21 | fear

Third person pov:

"Good morning." Jungkook walked into the bedroom with a tray of food and sat down at the end of Taehyung's bed cross legged.

"You seem to be in a happy mood today." Taehyung rasped in his sleepy voice and sat up while rubbing his eyes.

"Well that's maybe because I am." The younger smiled at him and placed the breakfast in the middle of the bed. "I made pancakes, eat up." He picked one up and started munching on it cutely like a bunny. Taehyung gave him a skeptical look before grabbing one and eating it slowly.

"What?" Jungkook asked after Taehyung wouldn't stop looking at him with an unreadable expression.

The older shrugged. "I don't know, you're just awfully nice to me recently and I'm trying to figure out if you're not plotting something against me.. or maybe you just have a crush on me?"

Jungkook choked immediately after the mention of the word "crush". He coughed for a moment before turning back to Taehyung's smug look with a red face.

"I'm gonna be mean to you again if you say shit like that, try me." He gave him a look to which Taehyung just chuckled.

"Awe come on, you know I'm just joking around. I know you wouldn't like me like that – or would you?" Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows at him to which Jungkook just gave him a smack on the arm.

"Shut up and eat your pancakes or I'm going to take them away from you and eat them all by myself while you just sit there and watch." Jungkook threatened him and Taehyung finally dropped the subject, even though he still had a giddy smirk on his face.

"There you are, as evil as ever." Taehyung joked and after that both of them just ate in silence. Once done, Jungkook washed the dishes meanwhile Taehyung went to take a shower.

While waiting for his turn to shower, Jungkook just sat on his bed and thought about their relationship. What was it exactly? He really couldn't put his finger on it, they became so weirdly different around each other that if a stranger was to comment on it, even they would be confused.

Were they dating? Or just a couple of friends that were messing around? Maybe you could just call them friends with benefits? But then again, usually that involves only sex and Jungkook can feel like it's not just about that, of course ignoring the fact that he has feelings for the other which is the first rule you shouldn't break.

It's a lot to take in at once and he just couldn't wrap his head around it. When did things become so complicated? What happened to the times where Jungkook was just happy with having a best friend and not having to worry about getting attached?

It just irritated him how he was powerless in this situation, too afraid to admit his feelings but also too attached to Taehyung to push him away and put a stop to all of this before it all came crashing down onto him.

He knew what they were doing wasn't a good idea, but maybe he just wanted to feel loved for once, even if it may have just been for his body and nothing more. Just empty promises and compliments that meant nothing to Taehyung. Jungkook was addicted to getting hurt over and over again, addicted to the pain of his heart shattering every time he saw him with someone else.

After being completely abandoned by his family, he never really got to see what being loved felt like. His parents always felt dis-attached from him, always pushing him to do something he wasn't capable of and later being disappointed. Always too busy with work to notice him and how he craved their attention. He was just a child who wanted, needed affection. It all made him feel like he wasn't enough and didn't deserve to be loved.

They never realised how treating their own child this way would cause him not to reflect on his actions in the future and be open to getting himself hurt, only if it meant he could feel like someone cared about him even for a moment.

They never loved him, Taehyung never loved him and never will, he never even loved himself in the first place so why would anyone? He was a failure, a mistake, stupid, so stupid—

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: PANIC ATTACK⚠️

please if you are triggered easily skip this part, I will put this 🌸 emoji at the end of it when it's safe to read again

"Hey Jungkook I'm done showering you can— oh." Taehyung walked into the room to see the younger sitting on his bed with a gut wrenching expression and crying.

"What's wrong?" Taehyung crouched in front of him with a concerned expression before grabbing his face in his large hands and wiping the tears with his thumbs.

Jungkook hasn't even noticed that he was crying, the tears just seemed to come out of nowhere and started staining his pretty face. His expression seemed pained, like he was hurt. But when Taehyung checked he didn't seem like he injured himself or anything like that.

Jungkook finally snapped back into reality and immediately it felt like a thousand bricks had fallen onto him. He could barely see Taehyung through his glossy eyes that kept calling out his name, but that was also silenced by the loud, white noise in his ears. Before he knew it, the air from his lungs seemed to disappear too and he struggled to breathe, it was replaced by a burning pain in his chest and throat as if someone was choking him or as if he accidentally inhaled water into his lungs.

"T-Tae—" he cried out and tugged at his shirt, pulling him closer and crying hysterically into his shoulder while wheezing for air in between each cry. It was heartbreaking for Taehyung to watch, he'd never seen Jungkook like this before and he wasn't sure what to do.

"I-I can't b-bre-"

"It's okay, Jungkook look at me and don't try to speak or it'll get worse." He pushed him away gently so that he was facing him again. "I know it may be hard right now but please stop crying and try to focus on your breathing. Can you do that for me?" Taehyung was panicking but he had to do his best and not show it or it would only make it worse for Jungkook. He had to help him, so when the adrenaline kicked in he couldn't even worry or think about it but act quick on his feet.

Jungkook started shaking his head. "I can't— I ca-" his whole body started trembling and his voice got stuck. For Jungkook it felt like an out of body experience, he felt like he had no control at all and it terrified him.

"Shh I know you can do it, I believe in you okay? Just please focus on me, only me. Look at me and breathe." Taehyung started taking deep breaths through his nose and slowly breathing them out through his mouth. After a moment Jungkook caught on and tried doing the same thing, it took him a while but eventually he matched his breathing with Taehyung's and felt himself relax very slowly.

🌸🌸🌸

About an hour later Jungkook had completely relaxed and fell asleep in Taehyung's arms. Once he calmed his breathing, the older laid down with Jungkook and held him close while the younger hiccupped and sniffled until he drifted off from exhaustion.

Taehyung just kept running his hand through his soft hair and whispering how well he did and how proud he was, telling him that everything was okay and kissing his forehead repeatedly.

Once he was completely sure that he was asleep, Taehyung softly kissed his cheek and whispered in the quietest voice he could mutter: "I love you."