Just be there

Casey

I couldn't fall asleep again. I held Izzie while she slept and listened to the soft sound of her breathing. My stomach is in knots from worry.
She looks so peaceful right now, in direct contrast to her face earlier.

I watch as the sun slowly starts to rise through the window, and wonder what happened to Izzie yesterday.

If someone hurt her, I will kill them. I've always been protective of the ones that I love, mostly Sam. I felt even more protective of Izzie, which is stunning to me because I didn't think that was possible.

I feel Izzie beginning to stir against me, and I kiss her forehead as her long dark eyelashes flutter open to reveal her dark eyes.
"Hey you" I say and lean forward to press a gentle kiss to her perfect lips.
She kisses me back, and smiles sadly.
I look at her questioningly, but I don't want to push her.

Izzie looks away for a beat, and takes a deep breath.

She looks back at me and begins "Yesterday morning, my mom didn't get up. Which isn't unusual. I figured she was high or drunk and just sleeping it off in her room. Around noon my little brother wanted to bring her some water, so he did and I heard him scream."
She pauses and looks away again. She takes some deep breaths. I reach out and grab her hand, and she grips it hard.

"She wasn't breathing, I called 911 and tried to do CPR until the ambulance came, but she was already cold."
Izzie blinks away tears, and I wipe them off her cheek with my thumb.
"The ambulance came, but they said she had OD'd when we got to the hospital. There was nothing they could have done, she was already gone when got there."

"Oh Iz, I'm sorry" I whisper, feeling my heartbreak for her.
"I just can't believe that she's gone. The last thing she ever said to me is that I'm broken and full of darkness... I had hoped maybe one day she would be able to love me again, but I guess not.." Izzie chokes on a sob as the grief hits her.

"Izzie, that's not on you, you are not the one who was broken baby" I whisper to her.
She shakes her head like she is rejecting my words.

I lean forward and press a kiss to her forehead.
"The kids are at my grandmother's but she lives in a one bedroom apartment" Izzie continues sadly.

"We will talk to my mom when she gets up, you're going to be staying here with us" I try to reassure her.
" Your dad doesn't like me, he thinks I'm bad for you" Izzie said in response.
"Well first of all he is in Antartica for next month. Second of all, Elsa loves you, probably more than me. Between her and me he will come around, don't worry about it" I tell her gently.
Izzie gives me a small smile, and I feel relieved.

"Is there going to be a funeral?" I ask her.
"No, we don't have any money. The county will cremate her for free, but my grandma's church may do something, I don't know"

"Okay" I say. I hear her stomach grumble, she looks embarrassed.

"Sorry I haven't eaten since yesterday morning, it was so insane" Izzie says.
"Come on, I'll buy you some waffles" I say grabbing my keys with one hand, and her hand with the other.
"You don't have to do that Casey"
" I want to" I tell her tugging her towards the door.
"Okay" She says with a smile.
I feel relief, her smile means everything to me.
We will talk to Elsa when we get back, she should be up by than.