Just be there

Izzie

I half-listen as the doctor reviews the results of the various evaluations they did over the last three days.

Casey had assured me that she and her mom would be here to pick me up when I was discharged. Even though I have no reason to believe that Casey would abandon me, I am still worried.

The doctor hands me a sheet of paper with my diagnoses on it, along with the medication they had started me on.

Adjustment Disorder with Depressed Mood.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Zoloft 50mg a day.

Great, just what I need. A list of all the way I'm broken. I think bitterly.

The nurse makes me sit on a wheelchair to be wheeled out to the waiting room "because it's hospital policy"

Seems dumb, I can walk just fine. I sit anyway and try to take deep breaths like they made me practice yesterday for when I feel overwhelmed.

As we pass the double doors I see Casey, Elsa, and Sam standing in the waiting room. Sam has his headphones on and looks uncomfortable. His hair is much longer than normal.

Casey all but runs towards me, and I stand up as she reaches me. She wraps me in a tight hug.

"I missed you so much Iz" she whispers in my ear. "I missed you too" I whisper back. "Sam was worried about you and wanted to come" she murmured quietly in my ear before she pulled away.

As she pulled away Sam stepped forward. "Izzie, are you feeling better?" He asked anxiously. "Yes, thank you Sam" I said with a smile. "Can I hug you?" Sam asks me, surprising me. "Yeah, I'd love a hug" Sam steps forward and hugs me tightly. I return the pressure and hug him back just as tightly. It feels incredibly comforting.

The nurse is explaining to Elsa that I have been prescribed a medication that needs to be picked up at the Walgreens near their house. Elsa is nodding and writing down notes on a little notepad. The nurse explains that I need to see a psychologist weekly, and a psychiatrist monthly. Elsa nods, and asks the nurse for a phone number to make the appointments. The nurse gives her one, which she writes down.

I feel bad for causing all this trouble, and look down at my shoes. I shouldn't be Elsa's responsibility.

I feel Casey grab my hand and give it a comforting squeeze.

"It's okay Izzie. Julia really helped me, other than when she made me freak out on a bus. I'm sure your therapists won't make you freak out on a bus though." Sam says matter of factly.

"Thanks Sam" I say and look up and smile at him.

I can't help but notice that Mr. Gardner isn't here. Not that I want him here. It just makes me anxious about seeing him at the house.

After the nurse finishes explaining my care plan to Elsa, Elsa turns and wraps me in a hug. I hug here back, she leans back keeping my hands on my shoulders and smiles. "We got this" she says smiling.

I smile back, and as we go to leave the hospital Casey grabs my hand again to hold it as we walk to the car.

I really missed her. She came back for me.

Part of me was really surprised. I guess I kind of expected her to abandon me. But she didn't.