Just be there

Izzie

It had been a week since school started. Things where generally going well, but I really miss Casey.

We still see each other at night, but we are going to separate schools and practicing track with separate teams. By the time we both get home from track practice it is already dinner time. We than work on our homework separately as our assignments are completely different. At most we watch an episode or two of a show together before it's time to get ready for bed.

To make matters even more annoying for me, a new girl had started at Newton. Apparently she was on the track team, and was bi like Casey. She and Casey where constantly texting each other, and I am trying very hard not to feel jealous.

I am sitting in Cindy's office now, it's time for my weekly session. "Anything on your mind?" She asks me with a friendly smile. "No...I mean not really." I say,fidgeting with my fingers. Cindy looks at me blandly. "It's just Casey is spending so much time at school with this new girl, Emma. They eat lunch together, are on the track team together, and she's always texting Casey."

"Why does that bother you?" Cindy asks me.
"I mean, that's more or less how Casey and I started out too. Plus, this new girl is bi like Casey, so maybe she has more in common with her than me" I say starting to bounce one leg up and down rapidly.

Cindy looks at me quizzically. "Do you think Casey loves you?" "Yes" I say. "Than why does this friendship worry you?"

I pause. I can feel my heartbeat increasing. "She loved Evan too" I say, feeling my eyes start to sting with the hint of impending tears.

"Well, if you're worried about it, what do you think you should do?" Cindy asks me, clearly wanting me to work this out.

"I don't know" I say, shrugging stubbornly.

Cindy raised an eyebrow at me. "If you want to know what's going on, how do you make Casey aware of how you're feeling in a healthy manner?"

"I guess by talking to her" I say, somewhat begrudgingly. I don't want to to talk to Casey. If I talk to Casey, it's possible she may confirm my fears. I don't think I would be able to handle that very well right now.

_____
After my session I take the bus back to the Gardners.

As I walk into Casey's bedroom I feel my stomach sink as I realize she is on a FaceTime call with Emma.

"Hey, I gotta go. I'll see you Monday" Casey says, and than hangs up.

My facial expression must be giving something away, as she looks up at me with concern and asks "Izzie, everything okay?"

I sit down on the edge of the bed, and Casey goes to try to hold me, but I lean away. Casey looks hurt and confused. Which makes me feel bad.

"Izzie?" She says, her eyes searching my face. "Do you still love me?" I ask, staring down at my lap.

"What? Of course I love you. Why are you asking that?" Casey says, her voice wavering slightly with hurt.

I can feel my heart all but beating out of my chest, and my hands start to tremble lightly. I am terrified to ask her about Emma.

"It's just you've been spending a lot of time with Emma.."

Casey looks shocked and says "because we are friends and go to school together..."

"I know but that is kinda how we started too" I say, feeling like I can barely breathe.

"Izzie, I am with you. I love you." Casey says emphasizing each you.

"Yeah, but when we got together you were with Evan and loved him too" I say, more accusingly than I meant too.

I watch as Casey's face shows even more hurt, than shifts to anger. "Are you fucking kidding me?" She says, before getting up and leaving the room.

I curl into a ball and sob after she leaves.

________
Several hours later I fall asleep in Sam's old room.

I jump as I feel a weight sit on the bed beside me. I open my eyes and see Casey sitting on the bed.

"Hey" she says quietly. "Hey" I say back avoiding eye contact.

"I'm sorry I left like that, your question just really hurt me" Casey says, staring at my face.

I blink, and feel a rush of guilt. "I didn't mean to hurt you Casey" I say, and I mean it.

"I know, but even if the question hurt me, it was still a fair question. I did love Evan and was dating him when we got together" She says, looking away from my face for the first time.

"Okay..." I say slowly.

"It's just while I loved Evan, I wasn't in love with him. I never loved Evan like I love you Iz. I never loved anybody as much as I love you. I'm completely and utterly in love with you" She looks back at me, and I can see the tears glistening in her eyes.

I feel my heartbeat settle, finally. I reach out and wipe the tear that spilled over off of Casey's cheek. I bring my other hand up to Casey's cheek and pull her towards me as I lean in and kiss her softly.

"I'm completely in love with you too Casey" I whisper against her lips.

With that she kisses me back hard, pushing me back down onto the mattress with her body pressed into mine.

I slip my tongue into her mouth as I grip her shoulders hard, keeping her close to me.

I feel her hands slide under my t-shirt as she moves her hands up to my breasts and cups them. She continues to kiss me passionately, lightly stroking her thumbs over my nipples.

She kisses along my jawline and down my neck, before stopping at the base of my throat and whispering "I love you" with her lips still pressed to my throat.

I feel one hand slide back down my belly before reaching the waistband of my underpants. She stops for a second and looks up at me to make sure it's okay. I nod at her, and she slips her hand down the front of my panties to feel my wetness.

She pulls her hand back out and uses both hands to remove my panties as I lift my hips to help her. I feel her pressing kisses to my skin starting at my knee and working her way up to my inner thigh, before turning her head to kiss my other thigh.

"I love you so much Izzie" I hear her whisper, her breathe hot against my skin. "I love you too Casey" I say, feeling a tear roll down my cheek.

With that she uses her hands to gently push my thighs apart, and starts gently licking my clit in a familiar pattern.

I sigh and than moan as I feel heat starting to spreads through my body, my orgasm building slowly and gently.

Casey holds my hips to keep me still, and as I feel myself about to go over the edge I reach down and interlace my fingers with one of her hands on my hips. I finish with my hand in hers, and sigh.