Just be there

Izzie

A/N: Thang is a common Vietnamese last name. It is pronounced without the "h" like Tang.
***

Casey pulls the car up in front a brick building with the words "Verde Therapy and Mental Health Services" printed on the sign hanging above the automatic glass sliding doors. "I'll pick you up in two hours, okay? Text me if you finish early." She says as she leans forward to give me a kiss. I nod and get out of the car.

I walk into the building and walk to the front desk. "Name?" The woman at the desk says without looking up. "Um Isabel Taylor" I say, playing with my fingers. I'm nervous for some reason. The woman types something and clicks her mouse a few times. "I see you have two appointments. One with our psychiatrist Dr. Thang, and after an appointment with our psychologist Kevin." I'm confused, I had requested a female psychologist. I don't want to be a bother though, so I nod my head.

"Okay take this paperwork. Since you're a new patient you need to fill out the entire packet. It looks like your previos care providers already sent your records for you, so don't worry about that section. Have a seat and they will get you when they are ready." I take the packet and walk to the row of chairs lining the wall, and sit.

I fill out nearly twenty pages of paperwork. By the time I am done, my hand is cramping. I hear a door open by the check in desk. A tall thin Asian woman with long hair walks up to me. "Hi are you Isabel?" She says with a friendly smile. "Yeah, Izzie." I say standing. "Hi Izzie, I'm Dr. Thang. Let's go get to know each other in my office, follow me." She says in a friendly voice, leading me back through the door she had come out of, down a hallway until we reach the end and she opens the last door on the left.

I follow her in and take a seat. Dr. Thang takes my paperwork from me and flips though it quickly. "Okay this looks like all the same information your previous providers already faxed us." She says before putting the packet down.

"Alright just to double check the information I have on your medications, I have you down as taking Klonopin: 1 mg per a day, Xanax XR: 3 mg per a day, and Zoloft: 150 mg per a day. Is that correct?" Dr. Thang asks looking up at me from the file she has open in front of her.

"Yes." I answer. "You had mentioned to Dr. Barker at your last appointment that you had been having a lot of drowsiness. Is that still the case?" She asks. "Yes, usually when I'm sitting still for a long time." I say, playing with my fingers again. I see Dr. Thang write something in my file.

"Any other side effects?" She asks, looking up from the file again. "Just a lot of dry mouth. I drink a lot of water and it helps a little." I say, shrugging. Dr. Thang nods and writes something else down.

Dr. Thang than puts the file down and opens a drawer. She pulls out a scale and a blood pressure cuff. "Okay, I just need to check blood pressure and weight." She says with a friendly smile. I hold out my arms for the blood pressure cough, and she slips it on my arm and starts pumping it. "90 over 65, very good." She says as she releases the pressure. She sets the scale on the floor, and gestures to it. I kick off my sneakers, and step on it. "122." She says as I step off. "It says here you were 116 at your last appointment, your weight is still very appropriate for your height, but if we will keep an eye on it to see if it continues to go up." She says as she makes another note in my chart.

I hadn't realized I had gained weight. I knew it was a potential side affect of all the medications I was on, but up until now it hasn't been an issue. I feel more anxious now. I start playing with my fingers.

Dr. Thang ends the appointment the same way Dr. Barker always did. By asking me if I have had any thought of suicide or harming myself. I shake my head. "Okay, I'll put in refills for all of your medications and see you again in a month." Dr. Thang says before she leads me down the hall to the first door on the right. She knocks and a short and trim black man with glasses opens the door. "Izzie, this is Kevin. Kevin, Izzie." With that Kevin invites me into his office and Dr. Thang walks down the office.

Kevin asks me to have a seat motioning to a couch and a bean bag chair. I choose the couch and sit. "I see here that you requested a female psychologist. Unfortunately we don't currently have an available female psychologist, as she is out on maternity leave. So what they've done for now is put a lot of the young women who prefer a female psychologist with me, I think the front is office is hoping the fact that I'm gay will help put them at ease." Kevin says with a smile as he looks up. The fact that he is gay does actually kind of help me feel better.

We sit and talk, and I find that I like him, he is very easy to talk too. "See you next week." Kevin says with a friendly smile as he walks me back out to the waiting room after our session is complete.

I glance at my phone to check the time. It's five minutes to the two hour mark, so Casey should be here soon. I walk outside and wait for her.
____

Later that evening I am sitting at a table at the dining hall with Casey, picking at my Caesar salad. "What's wrong? Do you not like it?" Casey says when she notices I'm not really eating.

"Nothing, I'm just not that hungry right now." I say shrugging.

After Casey finishes her food, we walk back to our dorm room, waving at Eliza as we pass her in the lobby.

Casey opens the door to let us in the room, and I follow her in. "Brittany said she was going to some party off campus so she'll be back late" Casey says gesturing to our roommates empty bed.

Casey goes to use the restroom, and I lay on my bed, staring at the wall. A few minutes later I hear the door open, than feel the mattress dip as Casey crawls in behind me.

"Are you okay Iz?" She says behind me softly, rubbing her hand down my side gently.

A nagging thought I've had since seeing Dr.Thang earlier pops up again, but I'm not sure how to verbalize it.

Casey leans forward and moves my hair gently so she can see my face better. "Talk to me baby" she says softly, stroking my cheek.

"I gained some weight. What if I keep gaining weight?" I say softly. Casey looks a little confused but says "Than you gain a little weight." "Will you still love me?" I say staring at the wall. "What? Of course I will." Casey says softly. I continue to stare at the wall and hear Casey sigh. "Izzie look at me please" She says gently. I roll over so I'm facing her. She puts on her hands on either side of my face gently. "Listen here knuckle head, I'm in love with you. You. Not your body. Don't get me wrong, your body is awesome, but it's not why I love you." She says staring intently in my eyes. I feel myself relax and move closer to her. She presses a kiss to my forehead and wraps her arms around me.

I lift my head and brush my lips against hers. I see her smile, so I do it again before pressing my lips to hers for a long and sweet kiss. I shift so I'm partially laying on her, and run my fingers through her hair. I pull back slightly and wait until she flutters her eyes open to look at me.

"Are you sure my ass isn't too big?" I say with a grin. Casey laughs and runs her hands down my back to grab my ass possessively. "I think your ass is fucking fantastic." She says with a wide grin. I laugh and rest my forehead against hers. "I love you so much Casey." I say softly. "I love you too Iz." I hear her say before she pulls me back down for another kiss. Her kiss is soft and sweet, and I sink into it and her.