Just be there

Casey

I'm not sure what is going on with Izzie. She's been so withdrawn the last couple of days and it terrifies me.

It feels like she's pulling away from me, and I completely and utterly hate it. It's been awhile since she's told me that she loves me. I need to hear those three words from her desperately. Tell me that you still love me I wish upon the stars, moon, and anything else that I think may grant my wish. She's here with me, but only physically. Mentally I can tell she's a million miles away from me, and it hurts.

"Izzie?" I say softly, sitting behind her on the bed rubbing her back. "Yeah?" She says, still staring blankly into space before her. "Is everything okay love?" I ask gently. I feel Izzie stiffen under my hand on her back, before she sighs and relaxes. "Yeah, it's just the heaviness has kinda managed to creep back up on me. I'm just so tired." She whispers sadly.

I pull her back into my chest and wrap my arms around her waist. I press a kiss to the side of her head and I whisper in her ear, "I'm here, I don't always know how to help, but I'm here for anything you need."

She melts into me at my words and nods, glancing at her face I see a tear rolling down her cheek. I kiss it away gently with my lips. "I don't deserve you." I hear her whisper. "Yes you do, you are worthy of love and all the most wonderful things in life." I say firmly kissing the side of her head again.

"What if I don't deserve to be happy?" She says quietly, still unconvinced. I turn her face so I'm looking her directly in the eyes, and speak calmly and firmly, "Of course you deserve to be happy, you were not put on this earth to suffer." She blinks at my words as if they confuse her. "You are the most amazing person I know, you DEFINITELY deserve to be happy, love." I say firmly, still holding eye contact.

Her eyes fill with tears and she starts to cry, tears rolling rapidly down her cheeks. I turn her so her face rests in the crook of my neck, and rock her gently on the bottom bunk. "I love you so much Casey." I hear her murmur into my shoulder, and my heart feels relief.

"I love you too, so much." I whisper in her ear before kissing it lightly, which earns a small watery giggle from Izzie. I continue holding her for a long time that night, just being there.

My love, my girl, my darling, my heart, my sunshine, my everything. She might not always be easy, but she is SO worth everything. I am here to weather the storm, because I know the rainbow that comes after the storm is worth very second of sorrow. As long as there is still breath in my body, I'm going to love her with everything I have. Always and forever, no matter what.