Journey to Forever [One Direction Fan-Fiction]

Chapter 35

Chapter 35 – Clover’s POV

“I can’t believe you would do this to me!” I scream at Larissa. “How could you call Aaron and tell him things that I wouldn’t? Don’t you think I do that for a reason?!” She’s sitting at the window seat, knees pull up to her chest and sighs as she looks out the window as I stand a few feet away, seething in rage.

“I just did what I think was right,” she defends herself.

I scoff. “What you think was right?! And what made you think you can make decisions about my life?! You had no right to do that! If I wanted to tell my family what’s happening with me, I will when I’m ready!” My body is shaking in anger at how my family would react to the new piece of information about my life. “Do you know what you’ve done? They’re already worried sick about me and you give them more things to worry about! So I decided not to tell them, that’s my decision!”

“I know that!” she yells as jumps up to stand facing me. “But I doubt you’ll be making the right decisions in your state,” she says more quietly.

A hand on my hip, I demand, “What does that supposed to mean?” She hesitates, pleading me with her eyes to drop it. Not likely. “What?! What state am I in Larissa? Please do tell because this is news to me.” My tone of voice is lace with sarcasm and a hard edge. “Or is this just some excuse to get rid of me?”

“I don’t want you to go! But you’ve been acting like a zombie for weeks now Clover! Weeks!!!” Larissa screams. “You just mope around and curl up in bed with this blank look on your face! You hardly do anything to fix it and just torture yourself listening to those depressing songs! You don’t listen to anything I say nor do you listen to Ann – who by the way, is just as depress as you and she still manages to stand on her two feet – it scares me and I don’t know what to do anymore!” she cries with desperation. “What do you want me to do, Clover? What do you want me to say so you can stop being like this? What do you want me to do, I’ll do it! I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do anything I can to help you. I’m not making the same mistake I did last time this happened. Tell me what I need to do!” My heart strings are being pulled at how sad and hopeless Larissa sounds and I feel guilty for focusing only on my pain that I don’t care how it affects others.

But I can’t dwell on them because I’m only centralizing on the anger.

“You want to know what I want you to do,” I cross my arms. “Okay, fine, here it is: leave me alone!” I say the three words slowly and precisely, my voice rising by each. “You’re not my mother and you can’t tell me what to do! It’s my life and it’s my right to do what I please! If you’re that bothered with it just turn and walk away. No one is forcing you to stay and witness this. I would be fine! I don’t even care if I decide to jump off a bridge! It doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing does so stop pestering me with your unreasonable and unwelcome worries! In fact, it’s making me sick to listen to your rants.”

“How can you say that?” Larissa looks at me wide-eyed. “Of course it matters! Don’t you ever say it doesn’t matter because it does!” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath at the same time her phone rings to break the silence. I recognize the ring tone to Louis’s but she doesn’t even make any move to answer it. That’s the third time since I enter the room. Larissa speaks again when the ringing stops and the call go to voicemail, opening her eyes and focusing her tear-brim blue orbs in my direction. “See? This is what I’m talking about. You’re developing self-destructive behaviors and no matter what I say or do, it doesn’t help. You’re not making rational decisions and I have to step in!”

“I don’t need you to meddle in my affairs while yours is falling apart!” I snap through gritted teeth. She take a step back, stun at my retort and open her mouth to protest, little does she know her brief silence confirms my observation. “Oh don’t even bother lying! That’s like, what, the third time Louis called and you don’t even bother to tell him to hold? You never ignore any of his calls just to get on a fight with me, in fact you would rather have him to talk to you so you can calm down, so why start now?” I question her only to meet with silence as she try to figure out what to say about her predicament but I’m not gonna let it go that easily after her preaching me each day. “Now that I think about it, you shouldn’t even be back from Louis’s this soon. What happened? Did you catch him with another girl?” I laugh; my tone is anything but nice as it drips with hidden challenge. I only mean it as a suggestion but seeing the sudden hurt on Larissa’s face, I just strike a bull’s eye. “Oh my god.”