"James let go of my wrist." You said. He obeyed.
You traced the stains. "Take your shirt off."
He shook his head. "Take your shirt off." You repeated. You saw his knife next to his bag, you got up grabbing it. You cut the shirt from the back tearing it off. As sorry as you felt for the shirt he wouldn't have gotten it off in any other way. You threw it onto the floor along with the knife.
You walked in front of him and saw his shoulder dripping with blood. The rim where his metal arm was gushing red. "Holy shit." You whispered.
"Bucky what did you do?" You said. You put your hand on his collar bone. Tear trickled down his red cheek. You wiped it with your thumb. You looked at your stained hand and felt a huge lump in your throat. This was your fault. All of it. It doesn't matter that he did it to himself, he did it to himself because of you. Tears threatened to fall at the thoughts.
"I'm sorry." You murmured. You pressed your forehead against his. "I-Im sorry I said all that shit before. And I'm sorry for what I didn't say. I'm sorry I pulled a gun on you I know you'd never hurt me. I'm sorry and I love you I really do I just need some time James. Please don't hurt yourself." You kissed the top of his head. You sat back down next to him.
He whimpered clenching his fist.
"S-stop," you grabbed his hand. "Stop."
You put your hand on his face "Stop, please. You're tearing me apart from the inside."
"Good to know you know how it feels like," he nodded. Asshole. You got up walking to his bathroom and grabbed a towel. You wiped the blood around his metal arm and his knuckles.
You saw how deep the cut on his lower collar bone were. He did that. With his goddam nails.
You sighed putting away the towel. The both of you sat in silence. You hugged him from the side. He first ignored it but then turned to you and hugged you back tightly.
He cried into your shoulder quietly, but you could still hear it. You cried but completely noiselessly, just tears down your wet cheeks.
He held onto you tightly and you rubbed his bare back that had trails of blood on it. You kissed his cheek. He closed his eyes leaning into you.
Yeah this was pretty depressing, but you both needed it. You were crying, he was crying, he was covered in blood, you were covered in blood,just in his.
You stayed in each others arms for a couple of minutes not moving. Then he let go. His eyes were red and his cheeks were wet.
"Cmon you gotta rest." You said getting up and moving the covers for him to get in. He stood up slowly and got under them. You moved his hair from his face. And gave him a small smile. You looked around his room. You managed to flip the table back and wipe the blood from the walls. You also washed the towel that was drained with blood and left it to dry.
You left his room and made your way down to the reception. The same woman was there reading the news paper.
"Uh excuse me ma'am do you have a first aid kit I could borrow?" You asked. The woman nodded and got up rummaging through the shelves. She gave you a white, medium sized box. You thanked her going back to Bucky's room. You opened the door seeing him sitting on the bed.
"What are you doing up?" You walked over to him.
You took some peroxide and poured it on a cotton ball cleaning his shoulder then his knuckles. You took some bandages and wrapped them around his shoulder. You then wrapped his hand, you held it after you were done. You just didn't want to let go.
But you had to. You threw away the cotton balls and the access bandages. You then told Bucky to go to bed to which he replied to with "I can't sleep."
"Well at least try." Was the last thing you said before leaving his room.
