Embers in the Dark

The Big Secret

After getting Lilly back to the hotel to rest, Robert had taken off his false form after she fell asleep.  As Arthur, he sat in a chair and watched her sleep for a long time.  Eventually he caressed her head with a deep set frown, stroking her beautiful red hair.

"Oh Lillian," he groaned.  "I am so sorry, honey.  For everythin'."

He dropped his hand to her back and pulled the sheets back a little, exposing the whip scars she received five years prior.  He sighed and brushed his fingertips along the raised skin as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I am the worst guardian, husband and partner ever," he said with his voice breaking.  "There are so many things I need to tell you, Lilly.  And unfortunately, you are not awake for it but I need to say them anyway."

Lilly's eyes slowly opened but she kept completely still, pretending to be asleep.  She felt Arthur's hand rub her back and she did her best not to moan, opting to shut her eyes and bite her lip instead.

"I'm such a god damn fool, Lilly.  I never should have let you go.  I never should have told you to leave.  There are so many things I never should've done to you, baby girl.  And I'm startin' to think this..." he took a deep breath in and let it out.  "...ridiculous plan I had concocted to win you back isn't really going to work.  Not how I wanted it to, anyway."

Arthur chuckled as Lilly eyed the magic bracelet on her wrist.  Well, that was interesting.  It was just like Mr. Lewis' and Sean's.  Why did she have one?

"I just thought...if I played a prank on you, then you'd..." he paused and rubbed his face.  "The divorce was a farce.  That was the prank part, and...being Mr. Lewis, that was part of the prank too.  I'm Mr. Lewis and Lugh is Mr. Hughes."

Lilly squinted her eyes and fought back an amused growl.  She fucking knew it.

"And I had this whole plan for the tournament and for afterwards, a-and that was going to be my moment to make things up to you and ask for your forgiveness."

Lilly's face scrunched up a little.  What the fuck was Arthur going on about?

"Anyway, I'm gettin' off track here.  The point, mo stór, is that I'm just a damn fool who is in love with the most wonderful person in existence.  I'm a lousy, rotten, no good god damn fool because all I do is mess up when it comes to us and I try so hard to make it up to you, but what I've done to us...to you, it ain't right at all.  There ain't nothin' I can ever do to make up for watchin' you walk out of my life thinkin' it was for the best.  I keep breakin' my oath to you and I don't deserve you.  Hell, I never deserved you."

Lilly's lip trembled as she tried to hold her emotions in.  This was absolutely heartbreaking to listen to and she hated hearing Arthur talking down about himself.  As she fought the urge to roll over and hold him in her arms, a plan started to form in her mind.  She knew it was definitely not Rose's influence because as she mentally reached out to her evil counterpart, Lilly couldn't feel her at all.  Thereforere, she kept on listening.

"We need you home.  I don't care what anybody else's reasons are for you to come home, but at this point, the only fuckin' reasons that matter are mine," he growled.  "Fuck the war.  Fuck Carman and this damn...Appa person.  I'll fight for you through hell and back, woman, regardless of what your choice is when I come to ask you a very important question, but you damn well better pick the right fuckin' answer."

Lilly bit her lip really hard to stop herself from giggling.  She really missed Arthur's tempered flame of a pissed off American cowboy.  The man was rough around the edges, as usual, but there was something about his temper that was also refined and poetic.