Fire Ferrets [3] Bolin

Chapter 39

The boat sways slightly as the wind hits against the side of it, but I pay no mind to it as my eyes stare out to the lone city. It had taken us an hour to get here and I've spent every second thinking about what Ori has told me. I should have known about how I became a bender, or I should have at least known I wasn't expected to be a bender. Why wouldn't my mother or grandfather tell me that? We're they worried I would think I wasn't worthy of the throne if I knew? Because if so they should be aware I have never thought of myself as worthy. Knowing the truth makes no difference to my opinion of myself.

I notice movement on the dock as I watch from the deck, the wind growing more wild with each passing moment. Soon we'll be able to get off the boat and find the dragons who will help teach us how to heat bend, that is if they're willing. Dragons are known to be temperamental and I like to think that's why firebenders commonly get labelled as such. But let's hope today they wish to help us. I watch the Sun Warriors tug on the lines as they pull us in and I start to feel nervous butterflies in my stomach. If we can't learn, then I fear that Izuk might win. I struggled against him, and if there are more heatbenders, and if Ori and Korra are right about their plans changing, I fear that Izuk could hurt my family. Or worse, bring the entire Fire Nation to their end.

"Ulazu," a voice calls behind me. I turn from the railing to see Bolin walk towards me. His hair blows around from the wind but he doesn't let it bother him as he joins my side. I give him a small smile.

"Hey, sorry I wasn't in there with you guys. I'm just trying to clear my mind before we ask the dragons for help," I say. Bolin's gaze is fixed on the docks ahead, but he nods to show that he heard me.

"I know now probably isn't the best time for this, but I honestly don't know when a good time is," he says and my smile falls as I watch him grow more serious.

"What's the matter? Are you okay?" I ask suddenly growing concerned.

"No, not really," he says with a sigh before turning to me. His eyes dance between mine for a split second before he sighs again. "Ulazu, I understand why you ran when Izuk's followers appeared. I understand, but I don't like you for doing it," he says. I turn away as guilt washes over me. I knew he wouldn't like me for doing it, but it was the only option. I had to keep him safe.

"I know, Bolin. And I'm sorry-" I start but he cuts me off.

"You're not. If something like that happens again, you would do the exact same thing," he says. I gulp and look down at the water as it laps against the side of the boat. I can see the seabed through the waves and I focus on the small fishes that swim against it rather than facing the fact that Bolin is right. I would do it again. I'm sorry that he feels like this, but I'm not sorry for what I did.

"You promised that you would marry me, Ulazu. And when you made me that promise, I was under the impression that you promised to have a future with me. I thought that you were ready to have a life with me, a family with me," his voice cracking slightly as he holds back his emotions. My head shots up and immediately I'm met with his eyes already boring into mine. "We can't have any of that if you die." My heart breaks slightly as I watch a small tear fall from Bolin's eye. I reach up and cup his face, wiping the tear away as my eyes cling to his.

"Bolin, I want that with you, I do, I really do. But I can't decide whether or not I die," I say gently. Bolin grabs the hand resting against his cheek and he pulls it away from his skin slightly.

"No, but you can let us help you. I know you're strong and skilled at bending, but you can't do this alone."

"And I can't watch everyone I love die," I reply I desperately need of him to accept this. I can't go through the pain of losing someone again. Losing Bamir hurt too much, and I know if it were Bolin in his place it would ruin me.