Leave Right Now

6.

When Meredith Grey had made a deal with Derek to prove to him that she could sleep without him, she hadn't expected anything to come from it. She thought she would curl into bed and wake up just the same, feeling refreshed. What she hadn't expected was to be completely off base. She hated him right now because she had tossed and turned all night. She hated to think that she really couldn't sleep without him.

She hated that he had actually made it hard to sleep without him. Now she was completely exhausted as she sat on the couch, her knees pulled to her chest with the tv on that she wasn't even watching. Meredith missed Derek. She knew he wasn't just a friend. She had known that but tried to ignore it. Derek, didn't feel that way though and now she wasn't sure what was going on. She was just tired.

"Morning." Lexie yawned, coming out of her bedroom and into the living room, stopping when she saw Meredith staring blankly at the television.

"Hi." Meredith said, her voice panicked .

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah. I'm great...I feel...I'm tired but I feel really...shit." Meredith bit her lip, shifting quickly.

"I heard you walking around out here." Lexie laughed slightly, moving into the kitchen.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Where's Derek? Still asleep?"

"We didn't sleep together...well we never sleep together....we just didn't sleep in the same bed." Meredith breathed, shaking her head. "Crap."

"Then where is he?" Her sister asked.

"His place I think."

"Interesting."

"It's not interesting Lexie I...why is it interesting?"

"I'm just used to him being here...or you not being here." Lexie shrugged. "Coffee?"

"Shit." She mumbled.

"What?"

"I....am I in love with Derek?" Meredith asked quickly, swallowing the vomit in her throat.

"Do you want to know what I really think or what you want to hear?" Lexie asked.

"What do you think?" Meredith looked up, her eyes wide. Derek was her best friend. They were friends and that was supposed to be all it was. "I want to know what you think."

"I think you're in love with him."

"I need tequila."

"I'm making coffee."

"Fuck."

"Calm down." Lexie laughed.

"Okay...I might be in love with Derek...I can't...I can't sleep without him....he...when I see him I'm...." Meredith began to bite at her nails. "I...he's...he dates and I feel jealous...when I act the way I do that's jealous, right?"

"Finally." He sister kept laughing. "I can't believe it took you this long to realize it."

"Maybe it's not love."

"It's love."

"He's my best friend...I'll get over it."

"What happens when he finds someone?"

"I get over it." She shrugged, her shoulders tensing.

"And when he gets married...""

"I die alone." She turned, hiding her face in the couch.