Unloved - (Fem Reader X Bucky Barnes)

Chapter 10 - Problems

After dad had his sandwich, we walk to the town with Harley.

"The sandwich was fair, the spring was a little rusty, the rest of the materials, I'll make do. By the way, when you said your sister had a watch, I was kinda hoping for something a little more than that." He pulls his sleeve up to see he's wearing a little girl's pink watch, Harley and I laugh.

"She's six! Anyway, it's limited edition. When can we talk about New York?"

"Maybe never, relax about it." Dad shrugs.

"What about The Avengers, can you talk about them?"

"I don't know, later. Hey kid, give me a little space." We stop at the explosion sight.

"What's the official story here? What happened?" I ask.

"I guess this guy named Chad Davis, used to live roundabouts, won a bunch of medals in the army. One day, folks said he went crazy and made, you know, a bomb. Then he blew himself up right here."

"Six people died, right?" I ask.

"Yeah."

Dad walks past me, "Including Chad Davis?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah. That doesn't make sense." Dad says as we all sit down and look at the wall. "Think about it. Six dead, only five shadows."

"Yeah, people said these shadows are like the mark of souls gone to Heaven. Except the bomb guy, he went to Hell on account of he didn't get a shadow. That's why there's only five."

"Do you buy that?" I ask.

"That's what everyone says. You know what this crater reminds me of?"

"No idea. I'm not...I don't care." Dad shakes his head.

"That giant wormhole, in um...in New York. Does it remind you?"

"That's manipulative. I don't want to talk about it." Dad points.

"Are they coming back? The aliens?"

"Can you also tell me about it, I wasn't here." I nod.

"Maybe. Can you stop? Remember when I told you, that I have an anxiety issue?"

"Dad you never told me about that." I sigh.

"Does this subject make you...make you edgy?" Harley asks.

"Yeah, a little bit. Can I just catch my breath for a second?"

"Are there bad guys in Rose Hills? Do you...do you need a plastic bag to breathe into? Do you have medication?" Harley asks.

"Nope."

"Do you need to be on it?" I ask.

"Probably."

"Do you have PTSD?" Harley asks.

"I don't think so."

"Are you...are you going completely mental? I can stop, do you want me to stop? Do you want me to stop?" Harley looks up at dad.

"Remember when I said to stop doing that? I swear to God, you're going to freak me out!" Dad suddenly rises. "Ah man, you did it, didn't you? You happy now?"

"What did I say?" Dad starts running off and Harley and I run after him. "Hey, wait up! Wait, wait." Dad stops running as we catch up with him.

"What the hell was that?" I ask as he holds his face in his hands for a moment and then throws some snow at Harley and I.

"Your fault, you both spazzed me out. Okay, back to business. Where were we? The guy who died...relatives? Mom? Mrs. Davis, where is she?"

"Where she always is." He points down the street to a bar,

"See, now you're being helpful."

I pull dad up and aside. "Why didn't you talk to me about your anxiety?"

"Why didn't you tell me about your depression?"

"What? What are you talking about?" I step back.

"Jarvis said you had a bad nightmare, that you were screaming. He said that you were sitting in the shower for over two hours. That you had a breakdown and started chopping your hair off. I've seen how you act when you think no ones paying attention."

"I'm not depressed." I shake my head.

"Denial." He points.

"Okay maybe we're both fucked but you don't know me....I was tortured for six years." I walk away from him.

He doesn't know a thing about me.