By the Grace of God I will love you Unconditionally

Chapter 25

"Are you almost ready t o go?" I scream up the stairs to Katy. "Mom. C'mon!" We are headed to get my tummy checked out. To see what gender the baby is going to be. "I'm ready." Katy grabs her keys and phone off the table and we walk out to the car. "Alright. So....you CANT freak out mom...ok?" I say to her. "Alright alright. I won't!" She promises. As we drive along and she hums the song on the radio I look at her. She's so beautiful. Her hair is blowing in the wind and her sunglasses are on. The sun outlines her head so she looks like an angel. I love my mom. "K-mom....ugh! I've got to stop DOING that!" I exclaim. "Mom. I was just gonna say.....I....I want to...stay. If that's okay...like...stay...for...a really long time. I know with this baby you might have wanted me to move out...but I...I wanna stay." I blurt out. "Oh Ava baby! Of course you can stay! That's all I've ever wanted you to do is stay!" She smiles and looks at me. "Super glad to hear that...um so...mom...I have a kinda important question..." I say to her. She looks at me eagerly like all she wants to do is talk with me. I can see why..I mean...I DID leave her. "Yes Aves?" She says enthusiastically "When are you going to find a boyfriend?" I ask her. "It's not cool for your DAUGHTER to have a boyfriend but YOU not have one. What happened with you and John?" I remember before I found out Katy was my mom I saw in a magazine where she was dating a guy named John. "Oh ya know...he cheated...we broke up. I let him back in but....I guess he was still a dick." She giggles at the last part. "Mom. You need to find a boyfriend. I'll help!" I say to her. "Ava Rose Perry. NO! I don't NEED, nor WANT, a boyfriend. He would just---let me down...like all of the others..." She says softly. "Mom...if I helped mayb-" " WE'RE HERE!" She cuts me off and as soon as the car stops she is out of it. "Ughhhhhhhh KATY!" I scream. I usually just call her mom but I've decided its Katy when I'm mad or trying to make a point. "Katy...c'mon...you know you want one."
"End of conversation"
"You want a boyfriend. I know you do."
"No...I don't."
"Yes."
"No."
"You're just scared that they are all like MY dad. I swear to god they aren't."
"Why do you think that?" She stops walking and looks at me. "I can tell. You want a boyfriend but you are just....scared. Scared that they will mistreat you like my dad. But I promise...if you find the right one. It won't happen. Trust me mom. You can." I say to her.

[INSIDE THE BUILDING]
[Katy's POV]
"I don't....I don't know...." I say to Ava. She is trying to convince me that I want a boyfriend. I DONT. She thinks I'm afraid but I'm NOT! I don't...I don't think I am. "Okay. It's time. We aren't talking about this anymore." We walk in to a little room where we will see Ava's baby for the first time. "Ava. Please sit." The doctor says. "Lie back please. Alright. I'm going to put this on your stomach and then we will put this on it and you will see the baby on THAT tv screen." She points to the other side of the room. "I'll find the heartbeat and I'll tell you what gender it is." She says. After prepping Ava's Tumtum, the lights go off and a little baby's body is projected on the screen. The doctor moves the little thing around and tries to find he heartbeat. Ava looks super excited and isn't blinking while staring at the screen. I see the doctors face scrunch up and I wonder why. She looks at me with a sad face and shakes her head. I know what that means. I take it all in. I think of what Ava's reaction will be. "Did you find it?" I snap out of my deep thoughts when I hear Ava's voice. The doctor turns around and Ava looks from the doctor to me and then back again. "Um....Ava...sweetie..." The doctor says. "I scoot closer to Ava and grab her hand. "I....I didn't...i didn't find the heartbeat....I'm so sorry honey." She says. "I'll give y'all some time." She walks out of the room and I look at Ava's pale face. She looks at me like 'please. Fix it. You're my mommy. Fix it. Help.' But I know there is nothing I can do. "Avee baby. I'm SO sorry." She burns her head in my shoulder and cries out. LOUD. she sounds more like a whale than a human. I just hold her and rock back and forth. I'm new at this mom thing. I don't know what to do...